`n a j i h a h;

Just Keep Chasing Pavement

2012-01-27T20:37:00.000+08:00

Hello.
I'm tired.
I think I'm emotionally tired.

No, don't get me wrong.
I'm not stressed up by the work I have to.
I like doing it and that is not what's making me tired.
Neither is it about the my academics that's making me emotionally tired.

It's just.
Hmm, it's coming to the end of the month.
So my heart is a little weak during the end of the month.
I get angry or frustrated so easily by such minor things that too minute.
And this side of me, is getting to my nerves.

Hahah, I know it doesn't make sense.
Well, I just this side of me you know.
The super emotionally disturbed kind.
Always not happy with certain stuff.

Oh my.
I hate this moodswing~~~~~
1 minute, I get so angry and frustrated for nothing, after that I would feel sad and hurt and then the guilty gets in.
OMGOSHWHATSWRONGWITHME!

Sigh, I just I could be there for her when times are happy, sad or bad.
Not knowing the real story but just knowing that she is not feeling well just makes me feel like a bad friend.
But how can I just ask, "Are you okay?"
And I know they would put up a strong front to say they are when it's obviously not.
Just wish they'll get some enlightenment.
Just some peace and throw away the problems soon.

2 Oclock In The Morning

2012-01-25T02:22:00.001+08:00

Hi.

It's 2am and I can't sleep.
Well, it's not my bedtime yet.
And I have to reach school early tomorrow.
Dieeeee~

I just hope I can reach school on time later, I meant, and then we can settle the mlep stuff.
Hahahah! It has been on my mind for the whole day!
I woke up to messages for mlep meeting, got another message to check out something planned and then this whole complication started.
LOL!
And just when I thought I was done with it, another problem came up and everyone is just so confused.
I think a big part of it is my fault. Ooops, sorry. :/
Just hope I can have the permission to clear all these up.

You see, this mlep thing is on my mind 24/7.
Even when I was supposed to pack my bag, I ended up sitting at the study table and planning of ways to make it less messy.

Hahahah!
I've become somewhat obsessed with this within a day!
But hey, at least I get to know what type of a person am I now.
Hmm.

Okay, I think I've made myself feel tired enough to go to sleep.
Just need to remember me alarm clock~
And not to put it on silent mode~
Because setting alarm clock then with the silent mode won't make you wake up from vibrations of the phone.

Hahah.
Selengeh times of my life.
:P

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Lemony Snicket Quotes

2012-01-24T00:02:00.002+08:00

“One of the most difficult things to think about in lie is one’s regrets. Something will happen to you, and you will do the wrong thing, and for years afterward you will wish you done something different.”

“The way sadness works is one of the strangest riddles of the world.”

“When someone is crying, of course, the noble thing to do is to comfort them. But if someone is trying to hide their tears, it may also be noble to pretend you do not notice them.”

“...you know that a good, long session of weeping can often make you feel better, even if your circumstances have not changed one bit.”

“Strange as it may seem, I still hope for the best, even though the best, like an interesting piece of mail, so rarely arrives, and even when it does it can be lost so easily.”

“Arguing with somebody is never pleasant, but sometimes it is useful and necessary to do so.”

“Friends can make you feel that the world is smaller and less sneaky than it really is, because you know people who have similar experiences.”

“There are many difficult things in this world to hide, but a secret is not one of them.”

“It is a miracle if you can find true friends, and it is a miracle if you have enough food to eat, and it is a miracle if you get to spend your days and evenings doing whatever it is you like to do, and the holiday season - like all the other seasons - is a good time not only to tell stories of miracles, but to think about the miracles in your own life, and to be grateful for them, and that's the end of this particular story.”

“...it is a sad truth in life that when someone has lost a loved one, friends sometimes avoid the person, just when the presence of friends is most needed.”

“I'm sure you have heard it said that appearance does not matter so much, and that it is what's on the inside that counts. This is, of course, utter nonsense, because if it were true then people who were good on this inside would would never have to comb their hair or take a bath, and the whole world would smell even worse than it already does.”

“One of the most difficult things to think about in life is one's regrets. Something will happen to you, and you will do the wrong thing and for years afterward you will wish you had done something different.”

“It is much, much worse to receive bad news through the written word than by somebody simply telling you, and I’m sure you understand why. When somebody simply tells you bad news, you hear it once, and that’s the end of it. But when bad news is written down, whether in a letter or a newspaper or on your arm in felt tip pen, each time you read it, you feel as if you are receiving the bad news again and again.”

“Perhaps if we saw what was ahead of us, and glimpsed the crimes, follies, and misfortunes that would befall us later on, we would stay in our mother’s wombs, and then there would be nobody in the world but a great number of very fat, very irritated women.”

Well, I got inspired by a friend's blog to check out Lemony Snicket's quote.
I mean, don't you think 'The Series of Unfortunate Events' is amazing?
The quotes in the stories just makes you agree with it and think about life.
(:

Quotes

I Would Go Back To December All The Time

2012-01-21T17:14:00.000+08:00

Hello!

It's been a tiring week since I was gone~
I don't know why.
I don't really do much academically nor physically.
So why do I feel like I've been tortured every single day this week.
Hahah.

First of all, CNY is done!
I've enjoyed every bit preparing for it.
Making myself so useful. Hahah.
Plus, the broom is doing its job bit by bit.
Well, everything takes time right ;)

And I still need to thank LAVA who helped us do the make up and all.
She had to miss the class party because of this. ):
I initially thought she didn't have to but there wasn't enough time to make up all of us. :/
Hmm.

So up next, it would be the MLEP project.
I'm so excited for it! :D
Too bad we can't join in all the fun D:
So I guess, I hope they would enjoy the orientation itself!

Hmm, what else.

Oh yeah, I went to Mustaffa Centre today!
Mum asked me to go to the cosmetics section and OMGOSH~
Make-up palettes were just calling out to me.
I stood at the display counter and just had this lit up face plastered.
Everything looked so pretty and colourful, I was so tempted to buy all of them.
Especially the ones with so many eyeshadow colours.
Hahah.

Well, I did buy one in the end.
Despite knowing I won't use it but you got to please your temptations at times~
:P

Okay now, I've signed up for Mendaki tuition.
Even though I really don't want to because my time for homework is limited,
Mum knows best.
So I signed up for GP, Chem and Physics.
Gahhs.
Really need to have some sort of timetable.

Common test is coming soon, well, not so soon but still, soon enough.
I have to be ready for it.
Can't be slacking behind like last year.
Because as of now, I don't have a power subject.
You know, those type of subject that you can score well in.
Oh my oh my.
The clock is ticking~

Everything Dies In The End

2012-01-13T23:45:00.001+08:00

So I said I was going to come back yesterday but I didn't!
Well, because I was so tired after the open house, review test, PE and the stay back with Atq, Hanz and Lava!

I came home to play with Aniyah, who was so damn beautiful when she came yesterday, and then go to sleep when she went home.
Damn, I'm still tired.

:(

I didn't even have to attend all the lessons for the first week.
And I'm already so tired when I'm back for lessons.
How can this be?!

Haizz.
I didn't knew J2 life would be this hectic.
I never thought they would be blasting us with all these workload at only the first week.
Ohmygosh~!

Haizz.

I feel so stuck in between.
And I really don't know what to do to make you feel better.
And I love the 6 of you so much as one that I can't stand to see this come to an end because of complications like these.
):
Why is our clique so complicated?
I feel like I'm trapped in a web and I'm looking for a broom to clear everything up.
I just want things to be normal again.
Before the truths were spoken of, before we obviously could see the hurt, before the mess happens.
Could it ever be the same?

Gonna Be Okay

2012-01-11T21:34:00.000+08:00

So Day 1 of PJC's Open House is done!
And I was so happy with the performance!
I felt so motivated by the support we got!
I mean when it was the performance time, everyone just crowd around us to watch our dance.
And to hear the applause, it felt amazing.

To know that some people wanted to watch us so badly was also another motivation.
So we danced twice just to meet the high demand, cheyy!
Hahah, kidding lah.

We were actually quite bored and since all of us were still in our costumes, for the fun of it, JUST DANCE, GONNA BE OKAY, TUTIDIDU, JUST DANCE~~~~~
And then we did the mass dance and it was so so fun! :D

Alright, gonna pause here because I want to watch Embun di Tengah Hari.
Second last episode baybeh.
Will be back, tomorrow! :P

Take A Step Back

2012-01-10T23:50:00.000+08:00

HEYYYYYYYYYYYYY!

It has been the second day of school of JC2 life and honestly, I'm tired.
But I don't think it's because of the lesson but more because of what's after that.

OPEN HOUSE IS TOMORROW!

So we have been preparing for it for a month now.
Well, I know there's still the CNY performance but yeah, this is it!
Hahah.

It's 11.37pm already. Why am I acting like there's no school tomorrow?
Cos I don't have to attend lessons tomorrow!
Heheh.
Free for the first 2 periods and then I get to escape the rest. :P
Yeah.

Okay.
I have to do some GP research actually.
And apparently I just watched a guy testing the taser (the electric gun?) on himself and passed out for the rest of the video.
Is that just plain stupid or what?!
Seriously. -.-

Anyway, I'm supposed to do some research but I'm not.
And I have to complete my Chemistry work again.
I have to read a novel for Thursday.
Hmm.

Pretty much have to stay strong this whole week.
Need to survive TUTORIALS (especially when I don't do the work :P)!
Hmm.

InsyaAllah (God willing), I can do this!

Hmm.
I've said this word so many times today.
And I haven't even prayed.
Missed my prayers due to school.
Hmm.

Will do some article research and pray and sleep!
:D

What A Shame

2012-01-08T17:04:00.000+08:00

Dumdadadum!
SCHOOL REOPENS TOMORROW!
Sian.

Tons of homework not yet completed.
And guess what?
Every Monday is a full blast subject day!
Except for Physics, I have Chem tutorial, Malay tutorial, Math tutorial AND lecture, GP tutorial AND lecture and of course, PE is like the cherry to icing!

Hmph.
I'm so scared for tomorrow.
I must at least complete my Chemistry and do parts of Math in order to survive.
BUT.
My GC is spoilt so I can't really do Math without it.
What a shame, what a shame.

Haizz.
I've been doing Chemistry for the past days and hours.
So I guess I'll do GP because I want to be ready for GP if anything happens.
I don't know.
I have a feeling I won't be getting the same GP teacher.
But I'm at least certain that all the others will stay the same.

Oh my gosh!
Who will be my PE teacher?!
SHITTTTTTTT~!

Ahhh, just watched Wizards of Waverly Place.
Can't believe it has already ended.
Though the ending was somehow expected that everyone wins in the end, it's just a shame to see the best Disney shows have ended.

Like The Suite Life of Zack and Cody and now Wizards of Waverly Place.
I think Hannah Montana ended too right, but I'm not a fan. Ooops. Hahah.

Sighs.

Because Of You I Am Afraid

2012-01-05T01:54:00.000+08:00

Hello hello hello~

Well, I removed my tagboard again because it was redundant.
Hahah.
Seriously. -.-

So anyway, my legs are aching, well, my thighs actually, because of dance!
It has been a whole week of no dancing and suddenly you have that one day to get back to it, just have to keep pushing yourself, you know.
Hahah. I feel like I have abused my legs constantly for 2 days now.
Okay, maybe I abused it too much on the 3rd Jan itself.

Had dance in the morning, then went to meet my 3 babies in the afternoon.
Played bowling and pool!
Awesome girls, I had a great time with them.
Other than feeling old when I'm with them, I also felt happy that I finally get to meet them again after months of not seeing them! :D

My awesome babies! Well, they all used to be mine. LOL.

Hmm, ET wants to go PJC, just like her brother!
I think that would be so awesome if she does!
Hmmm.

Thinking about this, I don't actually feel ready to welcome the new J1s.
Hehs.
But I'm not saying welcoming the J1s to the school, I meant to MCS.
I just have a feeling that things won't be the same.
And I really hate changes, so I'm just not ready for them.

And after open house, there's still the CNY performance.
Even though I know that won't be my last performance, I just feel like it is.
It's the last performance before the juniors come in.

To tell you the truth, I'm actually afraid of the juniors coming in.
I don't know.
I just don't want to feel at loss.
But even things happen, it's the way it should happen right?
And there's always a great reason behind it.
Haizz.

Actually, this post sounded better in my head when I was talking to myself in the toilet.
HAHAH!
I know the toilet is like a really bad place but it's the only place I could take the time to reflect on life.
Its like the only place I can be alone in the house and I can talk to myself all I want because my family won't be somewhere near the toilet.
Plus, I also could get some privacy.

Heheh :B

Oh, school is starting soon~
Hmmmmmmmmmmmmm.
I so badly want to retain.
Gagagagagaga.

Oh well.
A Level is coming in 10 months is it?
Just need to have the courage to overcome what's coming up. :/

{Edit//]
My Facebook is dead.
I only use it to play games.
HAHAHA!
I meant, let my mum play the games using my accounts.
I guess, it's a place for me to share photos only?
But I'm still so lazy to upload any ever since the new year.
:/

Anyway, remember Jesse McCartney?
I miss him.

Cos I don't know how to make this feeling stop.
Just so you know, this feeling's taking control of me, I can't help it.
Thought you should know, I've tried my best to let go of you but I don't want to.

Don't do this heart.
Please.

Memories

2012-01-02T16:14:00.001+08:00

Beef bolognese spaghetti.

11S13 break-fast order at Pastamania (:

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New Year, New Beginning

2012-01-01T03:21:00.002+08:00

Hey!
It's 3am in the morning of 1st January 2012!
How you doing yo?

HAHAHA!
Crazy.
I just posted a few hours ago and I'm posting again.
But it doesn't count as a day because it's like posting after a year.
Crazy talk.
It's 3am in the morning, do remember that!

Okay,
I told myself I'm going to start touching my homework again.
But yeah, apparently, I told myself too that I will touch the laptop for the last time.

Hmm.
I'm thinking of just touching the laptop every Sunday.
Hmm, but I guess that will only happen after 9th of Jan, when school starts.
Heheh.

Sigh, can't wait for new episodes of PLL and GLEE!
PLL will end in March and I will be anticipating every single episode every week, you bet I will.
(:

Okay.
I want to say I want to shut down this laptop and get to work but I believe that I will shut down this laptop and go to sleep.
I really want to sleep but I know I will end up staying up till 4 with the tv on and my eyes just not wanting to sleep because I know I have to rape my homework.
Hmm.

We'll just see.
So, sayonara~
(:

The End

2011-12-31T23:33:00.001+08:00

So, this is my very last 2011 post.

Well, every single year has its own ups and downs.
For 2011, I guess, it has been a lot of downs,
With my family, with Singapore (so many bad stories and stuff had happened) and life.

I guess, the only thing that made 2011 really awesome is that I got in PJC with my great close friends (especially Atq and Jnh!), got into the most greatest class ever - 11S13 - with the most incredible classmates and crazy awesome pw groupmates (Izza, Lava & Nat) and met the crazy super fun people from MCS, especially my clique of 7!

So, I used to feel so dampened that I got into PJC and now, I'm so glad that I was put into PJC.
Without it, I would probably cannot wait to leave 2011, but actually, I really don't want 2012 to come yet.

Haizz.
I feel scared that 2012 is coming.
A Level year! ):
I bet something big is coming this 2012.

I hope not much will change.
But who am I kidding, life will always surprise you.
Always will, and you will just have to be ready to face the challenges, no matter what it is.

To 2012, hmm, be a great year like any other year. (:

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Find The Old, Change The New

2011-12-30T17:45:00.002+08:00

So, I'm finally half done with cleaning up the room.
Will continue with my own "Make-the-room-nicer" mission in March or something.
Yay.

And I haven't touch my homework.
Just printed important stuff that will hopefully help me to do better for next year.
Yay.

Hmm, so I had a crazy idea to go search for people's blog.
Awesome.
Plus, read my old shared blog with bffs.
HAHAHAH! Couldn't stand it!
Didn't had the will to read everything.
Silly girls back then :P

Okay, that's it.
My mundane, average life.
Hmm.

Hope things get better at home today.
I thought it was over, but they got a little crazy fight and it's beginning again.
Stuck in between.
Feel like Aria in Pretty Little Liars.
Trying to save my family. ):
InsyaAllah, Allah will help us through this. He got this.
I just need to pray and do my best to help around. :/

Cliche

2011-12-28T00:35:00.004+08:00

Hello!

So had a great celebration for daddy!
(:
That was a longggg shopping with kakak for his present.
It was difficult to buy a gift for a guy.
You know, we can buy just about anything for girls but for guys, the only options are bags, shoes or tees.

Talking about guys and girls,
what's up with the relationship stuff in Facebook?
Not that I'm generalising people, just certain people.

First, with that "I'm dying cos you're not here and I'm missing you so much ):"
HELLO!~
Your boyfriend just went across the border to somewhere in Malaysia okay!
It's not like he's going there for 2 weeks or something.
It's just bloody 3 or 4 days, can't you be patient?!
And it's just in MALAYSIA okay, not like he's fighting in a war in Taiwan or something right!
So, you don't have any friends is it?
No friends to hang out with while he's away?
Are you that lonely, dear girl?
GOSH!

And talking about friends, when you are in a relationship,
don't you have time for friends any more?
People who were always there for you when you get into a fight with your "other half".
People who gives you the motivation, people who tells you to hold on?
You can make time in your 24 hours just to meet your "other half" but you can't even spend a bloody second to reply to your friends' message?
Not only that, you can't even make a day free to meet up?
It's not even for a day, just 15 minutes, can't you make time for that?
And whenever it's for the "other half", you are so damn free.
What's up with that crap?
Unbelievable.

And lastly, what's up with the pride when you're out alone?
Still need to post in Facebook for what!
I go out alone all the time and you don't see me telling everyone I'm alone.
Okay, maybe I do say "Forever alone" all the time, because I really want to have a friend.
But in reality, nobody cares if you're out alone.
It just shows how a loser you are, I know cos I always feel like a loser when I admit I was out alone.
But so what if you're out alone.
The worst thing is that, you're just going to a mall alone in your area.
Can't you be the least independent to go to some place near alone?
You need a company every single time is it?
Like seriously...

I'm just ranting randomly.
Cos I find it just so damn annoying.
These people.

Hmm.
Crazy moment,
"Friends" in FB, you're so gonna lose a friend tonight.

No Place Like Home

2011-12-27T14:50:00.000+08:00

HEYYO!

It's ~~good~~ so damn awesome to be back at home!
But I have 3 bad ulcers in my mouth ):

Anyway, supposed to come back on the 25th but sadly, the car tire went flattttt~
So yeah, got back yesterday instead!
(:

So the trip was normal like any other normal kampong trip.
Slept at kampong, shopped at the malls of Malacca.
And got a taste of horror too.
With my aunt constantly telling us the ghost stories.
Even one with the new road.
My cousin told us about the ghost story while he was driving through the road.
I bet he wind down the window to scare us.
LOL at the scary effect and our reactions!
We practically jumped when we heard the window screeched.

Yup, that was the interesting part of the trip.
Oh my, it's been a really long time since I typed this long.
It's almost too awkward to type.

Okay.
So it's my daddy's birthday!
Haven't got him a present yet :/
How how how?

Hmm.
Dah lah, need to kemas the room.
Kbye.

Hot And Cold

2011-12-21T21:11:00.000+08:00

Running a little temperature today.
That's what happens when you don't sleep for the last 27 hours.
Hmm, I don't even make sense now lorrrrr.
My brain is just tired.
Feeling lethargic ooooh................

Hmm, firstly, I couldn't get my 2006 SYF video ):
Really wanted to watch it.
But oh well, it's all memories for now.

Haizz, I really want to eat ice-cream or something sweet and soft now.
Foods that you don't really need to chew.
But the condition of my taste bud now is horrible. D:

Now, my stomach feels like it's going to let go of the dirt in it.
BRB.

HAHAH!

I still feel sick.
But I ate nuggets with Macs curry sauce!
Yummeh~! :D

All Time Low

2011-12-20T21:40:00.001+08:00

As I sat in the middle of the dance room alone today, I thought to myself how lonely I am right now.
Maybe because I'm like anti-social.
Hmm, I'm always wondering who to share my sadness with whenever I'm not feeling too good.
You know, it's the feeling when you want to share with people you are closest with but you don't contact with them that much at that point of time so you are afraid that you are just using them.
Always like that.
If only.
;/

Ahhhh, watching Cut Amirah last episode now.
Aduhai, Hisyam's smile is haaaaaiiiiiiiiii~
(:

But he got a wife and 2 kids already.
:/
If only I could find a guy just as dreamy as him.
Well, he is dreamy, that's why he's my dream guy.
Okay lame.
Sorry, I'm just so in love with his smile right now.
~~~~~:D

I'm Searching For The Word Inside My Head

2011-12-20T02:54:00.000+08:00

Hello!
It's going to 3am in 21 minutes time.
I'm still not asleep yet.

Well, I believe I can go to sleep if I just close my eyes.
But, I don't think I can with the work I have to do.
So yeah, I'm still awake.

Doing Drama now.
My gosh, my language is shitty now.
I forget all the beautiful words I once knew.
Even my friend who didn't take Malay for a whole year could write a beautiful essay and ironically, I'm the one who's suffering from a bad language.
Pfft. :P

And my thighs are cramping up now.
Whyyyyy!
I did my stretching yesterday.
I feel like I fractured my leg or something.
Haiyo.
Complained too much.
):

Hmm, I want to watch New Year's Eve.
Can't watch it alone right?
Or can I? (:

LOL.

Sigh.
Confessions of a loner. :/

Hmm, read her blog.
It's so sad that you know, you once knew everything that's happening around your friend.
And now, you no longer do because you're drifted away.
Just because you are not in the same school as her and you just continue your life with the world that revolves around you.
Yes, talking about me.
That I didn't make enough effort to keep in touch.
That I only keep in touch with the people I'm with now.
To at least sms once a week or stuff just to know if she's alright.
Good thing she's still blogging though.

I miss my old life you know.
Especially primary school.
Those girls taught me a lot, really.
Those boys too, constantly not giving up on the girls.
And I miss dance practice with them!
Sigh, just wanted that one piece of memory.

But oh well, I still wouldn't change a thing from whatever that happened in my life.
At least, I learnt rejection early, learn to mend broken hearts and friendships a little too early too but it's okay. At least not too late. :P

Yet, I would still hope one thing could change.
If only we could all graduate together.
It would just be much better.
Much much better.
:/

You Blew Me Away

2011-12-19T21:25:00.000+08:00

Holla~

So after a long weekend of deciding between Metro or Dance, I choose to go for Dance instead and of course, I'm so glad I did! :D

Well, Mr Azmi was starting on the positioning and all so who can afford to miss that?
He don't see you for the day, he just won't include you.
It's no longer about being a good dancer or having the height or not like it used to be in primary school.

And talking about primary school, I swear I'm missing my girls from SAPS!
It's like I badly want to meet up with them but except for 1, the rest just couldn't make time.
In a certain way, I'm angry for them not making time but what more can you do?

And yeap, so I'm glad with my decision.

Even played 3 games after dance.
And had a shoot-off with Aizat for Wild Wild West.
Yeap, I'm competitive. Now you know.
HAHAH.

Oh, jumping back to today, I had lunch with Iffa.
Great talk by the scenery of the LRT.
Who knows how our lives will exactly unfold?
(:

And I guess that's it to my day. :D

Anyway, I knew songs from The Wanted but I never really knew that they were the band that sang those songs.
Funny how I will always ask who the are and when people asked my you listen to them?
I will say no straight away without realising that I actually know their songs,
like at least 3?
Hahah.

We Can Change The World

2011-12-16T19:06:00.001+08:00

Hello~

My phone is officially not perfect.
I have to call with the speaker now.
Yeaps.

Anyway, today had Metro CIP.
Hmm, it is such a tiring job. :/
I think it is due to the day before.
We all didn't have enough rest.

So tired.

And I'm heartbroken again. ):
BTR's Elevate is out of stocks once again.
Lalalalalala.

Oh I miss my primary school friends.
Saw one of them today.
His smile, yikes, melt-able.
Hehehe.

Nahhh, that's nothing.
Really :P

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Make My Wish Come True

2011-12-14T20:42:00.000+08:00

....All I want for Christmas is....

No.
I don't celebrate Christmas. :P

Okay, still wondering what's wrong with Izza.
Hmm.
She haven't tweet.
It's like so long already.

Hope she's just fine.

Anyway, I have class tomorrow.
And I have yet to read the novel.
Have been watching Pretty Little Liars.
And oh my, how interesting the storyline is.

And watching Glee too.
Urghs, Glee's next episode is next month.
That's so long!

Dumdedum.
Gonna get back to my episodes! :D

I'll Take You Far Away

2011-12-14T00:22:00.000+08:00

Hello!

I didn't get my Elevate today.
:(

Went all the way there to find out that it was already sold out.
Sad isn't it.
Haizz.

It's okay.
Gonna get it still.
Just trying to control myself from listening to their songs.
I want to fall in love for the first time by listening to the songs through the album.

Oh well,
I really need to start reading Restu for real.
Really do the Beijing assignment.
And really start on my homework.
:/

I'm trying so hard to push away this feeling.
And I think it's working.
Yet, I know, deep inside, I'm still frustrated when I see you and her.
And I know she like you better than I do.
I should just stop.
I should.

What More Can I Say

2011-12-13T12:33:00.001+08:00

Hello.
Just ended dance.
Now sitting by the grand stand, taking some fresh air, cooling myself down.

Getting blisters all over my feet!
And I didn't even finish the dance fully or perfectly.
Unlike Haris and Shaffiqa who have done the routine so many times (like at least 7 rounds or more) and their soles are still fine!
Okay, maybe a few blisters but lesser than what I have.
Lol.

I should stop complaining and start stepping up.
I need more stamina if I want to do my best with dance!
Heheh.

Wonder what's taking them so long inside.
Hmm, it's so quiet outside without the hockey people. Heheh.
No wonder this is Firzanah's favourite place!
Now I understand better.

Oh my, have I become like anti social or what.
I prefer some quiet, peaceful time alone to sitting around with my friends and talking about random stuff.

My feet still hurts a lot.

Well, it's okay.
Gonna get my BTR album today!
Nyehehehe!

I don't care how far the place is.
If I'm determined to get it, I will get it!

Pwessssh.
Now I'm left with like $50 to survive the whole month.
Dang it! D:

I Set Fire To The Rain

2011-12-12T20:44:00.001+08:00

22% is taking forever!

In any case,
Today is okay, I guess.
Just more tiring than usual but I'm getting better.

Hahah.
I'm crazy.

I'm so gonna get Elevate-d tomorrow!
Heheheheh!
So exciting!
Hope it won't be too expensive though.
:/

If only they sell it at Popular or something.

Yeah, can't wait!

Urgh, can't get to 79% eh?

Kan, baru aku cakap, dah 79%.

Tak boleh naik 80% eh?
HAHAHAHAH!
Merepek!

Running Round Leaving Scars

2011-12-12T01:18:00.001+08:00

Hello.

Well, I've been away.
TO BEIJING!

But, really, stories of what happened in Beijing is just like too much to share.
So, let's just keep it as memories in my head.

And now, the aftermath of going away.
Hmm, every school trip has its own drama, I guess.
*Roll eyes in bewilderment*

Haiyo.
I just hope it won't be awkward.
Seriously.
Forget about the whole thing.
Lol.

It's a "you know, I know, they don't know" kind of situation :/
Tomorrow is going to be a normal day, alright!

Dance practice in the morning, drama planning in the afternoon, a little bit of shopping after that and study in the evening.

or maybe ~~study in the evening~~.
HEHEH :P

When You Feel So Much That It's Numb

2011-11-17T17:20:00.001+08:00

Hey.

Great news today.
I got promoted.
Meaning I will go to J2 next year.

Sadly, I'm not so happy that I got promoted.
Well, with the results I have, I won't be ready for A's next year~
And maybe I've prepared myself mentally that I will retain too much till it became numb when I knew I got promoted.

Or maybe, because I just want to be there for them who didn't.
Hmm, you know, it's difficult to cheer up another who didn't make it.
It's like, to them, we can say it's fine and everything because we did make it.
Hmm.

It's just so sad.
I really didn't deserve to get promoted.
Seriously, I don't deserve it.

But, I should be thankful.
Just hoping my friends who didn't make it through won't give up.
Hmm, I wish I could be with them.
:/

There's Only So Much A Heart Can Take

2011-11-16T21:11:00.001+08:00

):

The jacket is not done yet.
I'm so pissed.
Just so disappointed.

Well, they say that they could get it done by 16th,
Then only started to tell me the problems they encounter when I sent them another email to ask about their progress.
Just so URGHSSS!

Totally no more mood.
Everything is just taking its toll on me.
Everything.
Haizz.

Today was supposed to be a good day.
With PW over and done with finally.
Hmm, the moment with my group mates was awesome.

"This is the last thing you have to sign to end your contract with PW"

Hahahaa~
I'm gonna miss being a pw rep.
:/

And I'm prepared for the bad news tomorrow.
But all I need is one good news to make it a whole lot better.
:(

You Could Only Wish For A Happy Ending

2011-11-15T20:51:00.001+08:00

I'm supposed to be doing my I&R.
There's a whole lot of things I need to settle before tomorrow.
The CD for PW, the I&R(get it done and printed), the jackets, the souvenirs and t-shirts for SJ.

Amidst this all, I'm still waiting even though I know I have to DO.
Not WAIT.

I think because I'm anxious for the jackets.
I really hope it could be done by tomorrow so I can give it to the class on the 17th.
Well, 17th is the last day for a full class.

You know, if I could give it to them on the 17th, then it would be perfect.
I mean, at 10.30 is the promo result.
But from 9am to 10.30am, it's the camwhoring part of the day.
So, if we could get the jacket then there's like so much reason to camwhore.
Heheh.

I'm really scared if they couldn't get it done by tomorrow night.
:/

And omgosh, so much distraction right now~
Cut Amirah is on.
I really need to get my I&R done :P

):

Dude, I Think I Really Like You

2011-11-14T01:46:00.001+08:00

It's a really basic word and may not consist of any emotion.
But if you want to believe how you want it to be, it's really like a dream come true.
:P

He's online now.
And I feel like talking to him.
Haizz.

What if I'm like this nuisance to him.
I mean, you know, those kind of people you just have to be nice to but you don't really want to entertain them.
Sigh.

And furthermore, I'm afraid.
Maybe he'll just go "Get away from me" and stuff.
Then, wouldn't it be awkward in school.

D:

But I really really really want to start a conversation.
Hmm.

If You're Not The One Then Why Does My Soul Feels Glad Today

2011-11-13T00:03:00.001+08:00

HEY!

Saturday had been such an adventurous day for me!
Okay, wait.
Let's talk about 11.11.11 first.

*SCREAMS*
He replied my hello with a "hi"~
It was around 11+ so I assume it's 11.11pm.
Hehehs.
Oh so dreamy.
But stupid me was already out of Facebook.
Should have replied him. D:

Anyway, back to Saturday.

Morning was normal, followed parents to a wedding.
Cute kendarats but they were from Myanmar.
One even look like Irwansyah.
Haizz. Lol.

So wanted to send Kakak to school.
And she asked us to go through this flooding lane.
Went there and "BOOM!" car broke down.
So we had to rush out in the midst of the flood,
because we were afraid that the car would just explode.

It was interesting but so damn scary.
And watching the car being towed away,
the feeling is similar to watching a dear one pass away.
:'(

Yeap, no car for a few weeks.

After that, went home and rushed to meet Iffa and Diyanah.
Watched "JELANAK JELUWEK" at RP.
It was confusing and quite funny.
Especially that one scene which was supposed to be scary and serious (ghost scene) but it got me laughing till I cried!
The 'ghost' got too much into it till the cloth went all over the place!
HAHAHAH!

Finally, took a bus home.
Saw this cute guy, Malay, fair skin, teenager and just so awwsome looking.
Anyway, when he got to sit with his mother.
Guess what he did!
He leaned on his mother's shoulder and slept!
Awwwww! So adorable.
Being a cute teenager who is a mommy's boy is just so HOT!
:P

Ya Allah!
He was just so cute!
If only,...

Nah.
The time will come.
I shouldn't be a "perigi cari timba".
Which means girl going after guy.
Maybe just the first step is fine yeah.

2011-11-11T22:36:00.001+08:00

Dah dah, maximum point of craziness reached.
Shit shit shit.
Feeling like a stupid girl.
Blablabla

Closer To The Edge

2011-11-11T17:48:00.001+08:00

Hello!

I'm quite a happy girl today~
Well, that's basically because, MY OP IS OVER!
:P:P:P:P

What's left of PW is the I&R!
Hahah.
Omgosh, I think the presentation mode still hasn't run out.
Because, as I type, I can hear myself presenting this to you.
HAHAHAHAH!

It's all kind of worth it, you know.
I mean when you think back, and the feeling you get when you have completed the task like the WR and OP, all you feel is joy and nothing about the worst moment of PW.
Those staying up late and all is a bliss.

Yet, yesterday was horrible!
Broke down twice because I was too tired and stressed out.
Well, didn't sleep at all so I was awake for like the 22 hours or so.
And I couldn't remember my script so I got stressed for screwing up so much.
Plus, my teacher wasn't making things easier that she wanted to keep us till late night.
Felt guilty that I kind of shouted at her though.
Not getting enough rest, I knew I really needed it before the day of presentation itself.

So, I guess, the tears were not redundant at all, right?
Hehehs.

Hmm, I think I've reached my craziest point in life.
Well, had been feeling like I'm going insane for the whole week.
I mean, OP, stupid girl, life. It was just difficult to understand life.
Back to the craziest point, today, I almost resorted to stalking a guy.
Hahaha!
Well, we take the same bus and all but I got out of school earlier than him.
Went to the mall for awhile to have some 'me' time.
Then before I went home, went to the shop near my house.
I saw the bus passed by and thought to myself, "He must have been in there. Nah, maybe he went to celebrate or something~"
And what do you know after that, I thought I saw a glimpse of him.
The white uniform with black pants, his bag.
Sigh.
I wanted to run after him.
I already took bigger steps to get to him.

Apparently and fortunately enough, I stopped dead in my tracks,
and realised what I was about to do.
Hahaha! Crazy thing~!

Haizz, *chessy line coming up*
I think I'm too crazy already.
Crazy for him.
HAHAHAH!

Well, let's hope that the rest of the week will be like today.
Such a bliss today was.
:D

Runaway

2011-11-09T20:08:00.000+08:00

I'm this close to giving up.
This close.

I hate this.
Everything.
Is just.

Back to depression.
:(

I Close My Eyes, And I Wished For A Better Day

2011-11-05T13:26:00.000+08:00

Hello!

I'm so freaking hungry now~
Family went out and didn't brought home food.
Apparently, my mum is fasting today.
Well, tomorrow is Hari Raya Haji!
:D

It's not much about celebrating.
I mean, We used to celebrate it since my grandparents were still here.
Now that I have no more grandparents, it's kind of a on-off thing.
Like, the mood is not there but then when it comes to the day, I still want to celebrate it.
How?

Go to the mosque.
That's the only way to get the raya mood up!
:D

Currently doing my pw.
I mean, what else right?
Editing videos.
Supposed to have done it 2 days ago.
But every time I just get started, I just don't have the motivation to go on.
So I stop and sleep.
Heheh.

But I must get it done by today.
Well, it's kind of due today.
Lol.
Now you know why. :P

Haizz.
Enough of getting distracted.
Maybe one more peep at fb and then back to work~!

Takecare~~~

If It's In Your Dream, You Have To Catch It

2011-11-02T01:10:00.001+08:00

That title is so fake and blearghs.
Well, because I dream of a someone so that doesn't mean I have to go talk that someone or anything right.
-.-

Yaaa, I always tend to don't make sense.
Exactly my point. *nods head*

Anyway, I'm supposed to be doing my project video and a heart shape.
Just so lazy and tired.
Hmm, tomorrow?
:/

Oh yeah.
Should I buy a guitar or keyboard?
I really want to be able to play either.
And all I need is to buy the instrument.

While keyboard is easy to learn and soothing,
Learning how to play guitar is manageable too.
Plus, you can carry a guitar around while a keyboard is usually to heavy and big to be brought around.

So dumdumdum!
GUITAR IT IS!

Maybe after As then I will pursue with keyboards.
(:

When All You Want To Do Is Cry

2011-11-01T20:53:00.002+08:00

Hey.
Same old story, every night.
Just wish you could shut up.
Stop stealing my father-daughter moment.
):

Just want you to be gone.
Really.
You're ruining my life.
My family life.

And I'm left with nobody.
:/

Sigh, my Loggie will cheer me up (:

Have A Little Patience

2011-10-28T20:38:00.001+08:00

Hey.

I'm having a bad temper now.
Well, had been having this kind of bad nights.
PMS siol.
:/

Okay,
now I'm fine.
Soon I won't be again.
Seriously.

Something is wrong with me.
):

Everybody Gets Their Way

2011-10-27T22:03:00.000+08:00

Hey.
I'm feeling so emo right now.
Haizz, I have no idea why or how it happened.
I guess I'm just sad.

):

):

);

)':

)';

);

):

My Heart's A Stereo

2011-10-25T23:30:00.000+08:00

Hey!

HAPPY DIWALI EVE!

I feel so free today.
One because there's no school tomorrow.
Two because WR IS FINALLY DONE AND OVER WITH BAYBEHHH!

After gruelling months of staying up all night, slaving to the laptop to complete drafts and drafts of WR, it's finally completed.
Printed, binded, just left with burning into cd and writing our details.
Then all that's left are the OP, GPF and I&R.
Heeeee.

Oh wait, there's still the GPP.
Sigh, another killer.
The first thing that killed us. D:

Oh yeah.
Ryan Lee Wen Han saw me today!
Which means, I met him today! (DUH!)
OMGOSH~
How long has it been since I last met him like seriously.
Hahah.
Good old times :P

Haaaa, I had fun today.
Had fun teasing Izza with my groupmates, had fun with Basy and Atq during Malay, had fun helping Mira with pw, had fun spending time with myself and finally taking the time to do what I had to do.
(:

Though, my parents knew my chances of retaining.
Sigh, that's a disappointment.
I'm such a disappointment. ):

Oh well.

Reflection On The Water

2011-10-24T19:22:00.001+08:00

HEY!

Feeling kind of crazy right now.
Urghs.
I want someone to talk to me but guess like nobody has the time for that kind of thing any more.
Okay no. Don't be an ass.

I want to start a conversation but I'm just too scared if there's nothing else to talk about after the "Hello".
Or the person is too busy to entertain me.
):

I feel so desperate for attention right now.
Cos seriously, not interacting with anyone makes me really crazy.
)':

Well, that's why I have you blog.
(:

Currently doing my wr.
I feel too bored doing it over and over.
Seriously, I think I'll only touch pw again at 8 or something.

Now looking for something to do.
Sighs.

Jealousy Comes Out of Love

2011-10-23T14:43:00.002+08:00

Hey blog.

I finally completed wr and stuff.
I hope Ms Leong won't comment much.
You know, 2 days to the assigned date, if there's a lot of things to change,
I can't imagine that feeling. ):

So, hopefully not.
(:

Sigh.
I think I think I think.
It's true.
I think I think I think.
I know myself a little more now.

But why why why.
I don't know why.

Someday, We Will Come Together

2011-10-18T21:17:00.002+08:00

Heyyy!
I'm so happy because I've got a great deal for the class jacket.
And, a new episode of BTR is out!
Watching now.

BRB.

As Long As Everything's Alright Before We Go To Sleep

2011-10-16T14:33:00.000+08:00

Hey.
It's been such a loooooooooooooooooooooooong time ever since I last blogged!
Life has been um, how do I say this, just not that fine.

Well, everyone is living a complicated life.

Anyway, I have 24-14=10 hours left to somehow "enjoy" myself.
Getting my promo results tomorrow.
Not the real promotional status.
But sure, it will be an emotional day tomorrow.
Sheesh, I'm scared.
I'm scared of letting the tears run, seeing others unhappy, and feeling depressed cos I can't cheer them up.

Anyhow, I have a lot of work to do today.
I have to send emails.
Work on my I&R. And then the WR.
Start up with my St John stuff because it has been going on for way too long!
:P

Sigh, it's not over yet.
How come I feel like it is?
I'm sure gonna cherish these few days a lot.

Oh yeah, let's leave on a happy note!

I just sent an enquiry to SYF person regarding the cds. Hope they get back to me soon and I'll get to purchase it and bring back the memories!

Now, I'm gonna ask about the jackets.
Then I will do my I&R.

And my new hot and sexy wallpaper~

2011-10-11T01:04:00.001+08:00

And I pray,
One day when I get older and have my own family, and my siblings have their own family too,
We will be in peace,
Not having to let my nieces and nephews hate me for treating their parents badly,
Nor having my child to hate my siblings
Just as I am hating my uncles who don't give a damn about my mother and always making her suffer,
Manipulating her to make her feel her children are always in the wrong,
Forgetting who she should trust most despite the obvious.

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Never Be Replaced

2011-10-05T22:37:00.001+08:00

I feel like crying now.
)':

Hanz is leaving for poly.
Shit, I will miss him very much.
This also means that there's a very high chance I won't be with S13 next year.
Maybe we will be disbanded because our class is too small.

I really want to cry.
What will happen next year?
Well, could I even get promoted this year?
I just hope for the best. :/

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Delete and Restart

2011-09-28T23:00:00.001+08:00

Hey!

So my laptop is all fixed now.
Though the man said that the graphic thingy is spoilt.
So I can't go to youtube, I guess. :/

But phew,
Finally, "trials" are over and everything is fine.
Thank goodness my brother was helpful and supportive.
(:

I'm really grateful to have siblings who can help me in desperate times.
(:

K, back to physics.
Done stalking people.
Tsk tsk.
"You may say I'm a dreamer but I'm not the only one."

When There's No One Else

2011-09-27T20:26:00.001+08:00

Hey~

My life has be like on trials ever since my laptop screen was fixed.
I live with fear and paranoia everyday, having to answer questions from my family.
Stupid mistake.
None of this would have happen if ...
But well, it already did.

I think I'm going insane.
I am a bit close to going crazy.
Just like a super depressed kid.
So like primary 6.

Hmm.
I will be fine.
Everything will be over soon
And I will be fine.

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Everyday's Journey

2011-09-24T14:28:00.000+08:00

HEEEEY!

So I had quite an adventure today~! :D

Well, I had Sastera in the morning.
Class was fun, cikgu was a bit high.
And he kept doing cartoon voice impersonations.
LOL!

So after that, I went to Clementi Mall.
And wanted to take the bus back.
The first that came to my mind was the bus stop in front of my gran's old house.
It was seriously nostalgic.
Well, it was my childhood place.
The place I use to play and see the world from when I was younger.
):

Okay, back to the story.
I was supposed to go to the opposite.
Unfortunately, the bus I wanted don't go that direction.
So I was searching for a bus stop that had the bus I wanted.
I walked and walked till I met with a dead end.

Hence, I walked further and found a swing set.
Decided to play for awhile and messaged Atq for help.
HAHAH!
When I was done resting, I walked all the way to some end.
Suddenly, I found myself at West Coast Food Centre.
Hahah, that was too far already!
I seriously had o idea where I was heading to.
I admit, I was lost.

But I did found a bus stop in the end.
After walking for like about 4.37km.
WOWWWWW!

Okay, I'm exhausted.
Gonna reboot this computer.
I'm scared though.
InsyaAllah, tak ada apa yang akan terjadi. (:

Everything Has Its Flaws

2011-09-23T21:24:00.000+08:00

Hello!

So, the weekend is finally here!
That means, Promos will be here in 3 days.
Sighs, that is just a mood killer.

Well, I can't wait for the 2 weeks to be over.
I can pass and get promoted alright.
Insyaallah!
(:

So yesterday, Ain thought us a new game.
And she is just so funny!
I was observing her the whole way throughout dinner!
Her expressions were too hilarious, I can't tank. :P

And today,
I got my frolicks!
Shared with some of my love ones in school.
Felt guilty though, I didn't share with Diyanah.
Really, I felt seriously guilty.
Shall buy for her next time.
:D

AND
The best announcement of the night is...
MY LAPTOP SCREEN IS FIXED!
I can see everything so clearly and wide now!
Happy girl!

But...
My windows is suffering.
I can't open it, haizz.
Good enough, my laptop have this splashtop thingy.
So I can use this instead of windows.
Though, my documents and the other stuff in windows are in danger.
And I'm so scared of what my family would say.
Sigh sigh sigh.

Alright, for once in my life, I have to be brave.
Seriously, I can't be timid all the time,
I can be afraid of rejections, scoldings and critics.
I just have to learn to accept it.
(:

There's Not Always Rainbows And Butterflies

2011-09-21T23:24:00.001+08:00

Hellooooo!

There's just so many things to share about yesterday!
Hmm.
Monday blues was still present.
But the evening was kind of awesome! (:

So, due to the lack of sleep (just 2 hours!),
I just had to sleep in Chemistry and slack in Math.
I realised that Math can always only last for 30 min at most.
Usually by the 2nd 30th minute, people would get bored because it's the same old concept.

So after school, Hayyu drove me and Hanz to the school bus stop.
Hahaha! Dah sah budak-budak pemalas!
Went to Popular and after that head down to Amirah's!
Hahaha.
It's like I just met her 10 days ago :P

Then went back to school to study with Mira.
Saw Haris so yeah, group study!
Like now when I'm supposed to be studying with them.
I'm updating my blog instead.
Tsk tsk tsk.

Oh, next after we were done, went to Lot 1 for dinner.
On our way to Lot 1, there was this group of mats who just so suddenly
Said out loud, "ni yang kau kater kau punyer ex?! Hahaha!"
Irritating people in the society.
What have I ever done to them?!

So after dinner, went to walk around to digest our food.
Went to the pet shop, kiddy palace, courts and level 5.
I saw Juzaisya and Syakirah! :D
Then went all the way down to go back home.
And I saw JAYNE!
Omgosh, I miss her so much~
She, always looking so matured, just trimmed her hair.
Hahaha, she asked Aisyah and I to smeel her hair.
And on the other end, Mira and Haris were just laughing away. XP

So that was how my day was spent on Monday. :D

Tuesday was a bit sullen.
Wednesday was just tiring.

Yay, yeah okay, bye ;D

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Everyday Brings Wonders

2011-09-18T13:24:00.000+08:00

HELLO!

I'm supposed to be doing my pw shit.
Or at least study for promos. Sighs.
But here I am!

So I wanna blog about Friday.
We played SKIPPING!
S13 will be skipping our way to victory during Interhouse!
Oh yeah, Byron is so gonna win! :D
Confident!
That was like the best PE ever or the second best but yeah, that PE was awesome!

Then Malay class was fun too!
Talked about Gajah Putih which lead us to Islamic stories.
Part of the lesson was like madr.
And I really love lessons like these.
I got to learn more about the cerpen and also more about my own religion.

After Malay, went to meet Tommy with Hayyu and Lava.
Hayyu was so excited to meet Tommy.
But Tommy was bathing when we reached.
Hahah, Tommy almost scratched Hayyu a few times becuase she was disturbing him when he doesn't want to be disturbed.

3 hours break went by quickly.
Full of chit-chatting with Hayyu, Firzanah, Iffa and Hanz.

Malay after that was a continuous series of awesome.
So was the extra class of Malay yesterday ;)
And omgosh, Haziq is too smart and knowledgeable that I can't tank!
Seriously, he like knows EVERYTHING.
I'm not kidding.
He seriously reads and knows a lot!
:o

Okay, reading the dialogue between Nabi Muhammad S.A.W and Iblis, the leader of all devils.
It's so mesmerizing and scary too.
So, toodles.
:P

Something Different About The Day

2011-09-15T15:33:00.001+08:00

Helloooooo!
I'm feeling a little different today.
Tired but I'm happy.

Tired due to this never ending cough.
I haven't been sleeping well with this cough.
So some lessons just lullaby me to sleep. :P

Well, I'm happy today because we showed why you shouldn't attack Cikgu Zainal's beloved students! :P
Kranji power! :D

Oh yeah, Went for lunch with the boys in my class.
Hahah, Hayyu paitao only.
But we saw a person fainted along the way.
Hairizad's reaction was so hilarious tapi tak perlu Hahah!
I felt guilty and ashamed though.
Make me feel so shitty because I should have done something.
Yet, I'm not brave nor daring. Sighs.

Okay.
They totally made my day.
Off to sleep now to get my rest.
Byeeeeee!

Still The Same

2011-09-11T10:40:00.000+08:00

HELLO!

It's Sunday and last day of the good September holidays.
So, my raya is "officially" over. :P
I really had a good one this year!
I've spent time with MCS, S13, 4HML and SAPS!

4HML!
Hahah, the cute and crazy girls as always.
I mean even though I see most of them in Pioneer, we don't really get to talk much.
So, when it comes to raya outing, zoooooom!
It's like we're all in the same school again.

We went to Ms Nat's house for the first time.
Hahah, she said my 4D class used to be her worst class. P:
I really miss her attacking people and her favourite word of the day was selengeh!
LOL.

And of course, I had my own adventure too during the outings.
My shoes were torn so I had to buy a new one.
I was glad it could last till we reached CCK mrt.
HAHAH!
After that, I went barefooted in Lot 1 and just started shuffling my steps to BATA.
Buy And Throw Away.

Continued with the jalan raya.
At the last house, while eating Ami's mom's famous tiramisu,
her mom suddenly say we were so quiet.
HAHAH!
So after that, Ami took out her cams,
and we made an impromtu mission.
To get Atq's unglam photos!
HAHAHA!
You wouldn't believe how crazy we were.
And yes, I got the photo!
Her possessed photos! :D
It was awesome.
I mean, being with them again.
So the kranji kranji feeling (:

SAPS!
So we met up, later than meeting time.
Kecoh eh, supposed to meet up at 2pm but we end up meeting at around 3pm.
And Rina Noorfazlina came!
It felt so complete (:

So, nothing changed.
You know, even if it has been 5 years since we left St Anthony's,
our appearance may change some sort, more mature I guess,
but our attitudes and everything else don't.
We still could be so close and tight.
And that's why I love them soooooo much! <3

Oh, we even tried to visit Hidayah.
We failed to meet her but yeah, some kind of adventure with the girls. Heh.

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There's Always A Kid In Us

2011-09-06T22:54:00.001+08:00

Hello!

I've had the time of my life today!
With myself :P
I know, it sounds wrong, weird but everyone needs their alone time and just have fun alone! (:

So today, I went to Perdure.
Finally convinced myself to fix my screen.
It cost me $190. ):
Well, thank goodness for Hari Raya collections.
The guy dismantled my laptop.
In the end, it just became pieces of metals and plastics. :0

Well, they didn't have the screen yet.
So the guy had to put everything back in.
And I have to come back in a week to get my laptop fixed. D:

After I was done with that, went to Lot 1.
My main objective was to buy presents.
My search turns out to be searching presents for myself. :P
I bought 4 new movies that I really wanted to watch but didn't have the time.
I also bought toys for myself, claiming that it was for my niece. Heheh.

Yet, I still managed to achieve my objectives.
So yay!

I seriously can't hold that much money in a day or else, it will all be gone D:
Hahah, I'm really a thrift spender.
Yup, I do feel guilty at the end of the day and feel like I've wasted my money.
Even so, if it makes a happy girl, why should I not?
:D

So that concludes it.
I shall never shop again this whole month.
Yes, yay!

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Are You Holding Back Like The Way I Do?

2011-09-05T19:00:00.002+08:00

HELLO BLOG!

It's been quite a few days since I've last blogged.
Well, I've been so busy and caught up in the festive season that by the end of the day, I'm just too tired to blog.

Hold on~
I'm too hungry to blog now.
Haven't eaten since 2pm. :/

Okay, I'm back.
So, went for raya with MCS dancers on the 3rd day of raya.
It was fun but tiring.
Went to all 9 houses and end up reaching home only at 2am.
First time ever.
That's crazyyyyy!
Talking about crazy, Aizat's sister used to be in the same madrasah as me.
And she is....Esty.
Wild discovery! Hahah, seriously, I'm still in disbelief till now.
Well, the funniest part of the outing was at Mira's house.
We were watching Ngesot.
Not that scary but the screams from Iffa and Firzanah made it shocking. Hahah.
So there was one time when Haris and Ain planned to scare Aizat.
Ain hid Haris' movements which he was crawling to Aizat.
Epic reaction from a guy!
Another was when Mira's brother, whose name was Aizat too, was disturbing her sister.
Mira scolded her brother not to disturb her sister but instead Aizat was defending himself saying he didn't even distub her.
LOL!
Aizat reaction was too hilarious! :D

4th day of raya: out with S13!
Woke up at 10.30am. It was already quite late!
Had to meet the rest at 12.30pm.
Well, being a girl, 2 hours was simply not enough :P

So we met and to Hanz's house first.
Seriously, it could be like a movie theater with all the stereo sounds available.
We watched JB: Never Say Never.
Okay, I wasn't a fan of him.
Now I can say, I'm still not a fan of him.
Though, I like his songs and I really respect him for the real talent he has in him.
Yup okay.

Then we visited the other houses.
Seriously, my stomach was bloated at the end of it.
Eating at all houses, and all I felt was thirst.

So the last house was mine.
Watched Maharaja Lawak.
Finally knew who was "Acai" Hairizad was refering to the whole day.
Lol.

I had so much fun!
Can't wait for more fun with 4HML and SAPS!
Hehehe! :D

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The Joy Of Glory

2011-09-01T02:06:00.002+08:00

Hello!

So now, we're comng to the 3rd day of Raya!
1st day was awesome! I mean, not that awesome like usual but just awesome!
My whole family's theme is pinkish purple.
Well, there was pink, pinkish purple and totally purple!
I'm waiting for my sister-in-laws to upload the family photo cos what I have is somehow not the "perfect" ones.

2nd day was spent in school.
Due to the late sleep the day before (yes, because of darn pw),
I didn't totally survived the whole day.
But it's quite amazing how I almost survived.
:P

Had Malay mock paper too.
In the midst of writing my essay, I got a few seconds shut eye.
Hahah.
You could see that there is a part of my essay which are full of strikes, obvoiusly proving that I dozed off.
Lol.

Gonna have jalan raya with MCS later!
Eh tak tak eh tak tak eh tak tak eh!
I'm so excited.
Hmm, what colour should I wear? 0.0

Also will have jalan raya with S13 tomorrow.
Omgosh, okay, I'll go look for clothes now.
HEHEHE!

SELAMAT HARI RAYA! <3

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Achievement Day

2011-08-30T08:51:00.001+08:00

Heyyo!

Selamat Hari Raya Aidifitri S3MUA!

1 Islamic month passed by so quickly.
I couldn't even grasp the moment and the day to celebrate is here.

Hmm, the house is still a bit messy.
Friends will come on the 3rd day of raya.
Noooo!
Hahah.

Okay,
I want to seek forgiveness if I have written anything offensive in this blog. May you all have fun later and tomorrow and whenever.
"Pakcik dan Makcik asyik bersembang hai duit raya lupa diberi" :P

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Things Get Better In Time

2011-08-28T05:02:00.002+08:00

Hello!

I have put up the chatbox again!
So, if you do drop by and by chance, read my post,
tag me alright?
Be it anonymous, nameless or with names, just write something there :D

Read the old tags.
I realised, I really miss my juniors!
My NC1 kiddies especially.
When the time comes, I'm so gonna have reunion with them.

I'm thinking maybe, ET's birthday?
Or after their Os, that's totally fine too :P
I just hope for it to happen.
(:

Oh no,
I've caught the runny nose.
Those sore throat days were trying to warn me after all.
But what could I do.
I'm fated to have this flu now.
Better now than later.

Ramadhan is soon coming to an end.
Just 2 more days and bid goodbye to Ramadhan,
say hello to Syawal.
And then, just pray hard that He will grant you the wish to meet Ramadhan again next year.
And then, end it all with smiles and amen.

(:

It's A Beautiful Night

2011-08-27T21:15:00.001+08:00

Hello!
I'm so thankful and overjoyed!

Firstly, my wishes came true!
My brother is coming home for Raya!
Even though he's going off for work on the 2nd day, he'll still be here on the 1st day!
I can have my family photo with addition of Aqilah!
I can't wait!

Well, I'm not really close with my brothers.
But I definitely don't like it if anyone was missing on the first day.
I really love and appreciate family reunion.
I feel the sense of belonging, the fun, and the most loved. (:

Another wish of mine came true too.
I'm just thankful and surprised that my wish was answered.
(:

Well, the house is almost done.
Just left with my corner and the kuihs!
Omgosh, all the parts of mine :/

Yes, my raya outings, I'm so excited!
I hope Firzanah will come.
It won't be a full circle without her ):

But really, I'm so excited for raya now.
Finally, I'm feeling the berkat of Ramadhan.
The joy of Ramadhan.
Alhamdulillah.

<3
:D

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A Little Bit Longer

2011-08-24T14:14:00.003+08:00

Using my time wisely now to blog.
Well, it's a remedy.
I don't feel emotionally well.

I've been feeling rather numb lately.
Oh, numb is not the word.
Numb means to feel nothing.
Yet, I'm feeling something but I don't know what is it.
It's painful.
Just in between sad and anger.
Maybe hurt?

Sigh.
What a joy.
I'm so emo.
I hate me.

Contradicting isn't it?
To love but to hate.
To feel happy but feel the pain too.

I'm unarmed,
My world torn apart.
I don't even know what happened.

I'm staring at you and I don't know what to do.
I'm staring into blank space hoping something would cheer me up.
Nothing.
I'm just not thankful enough.
Sucker.

Faith Will Bring It Back

2011-08-23T22:42:00.003+08:00

Hello!

Well, for a change, let's not talk about today.
Just that I came early to school today.
Like 6.30am early just to continue some part of the decorations.
I'm so proud of it I kept looking at it.
Hahaha.
Thick skinned.

Anyways.
For sure, today was not that much fun.
I mean, I had fun with the riddles and all during the breaks.
For the heart, I'm not that sure.
Something was pretty wrong with you heart.
Tell me soon yeah >:

Yeah, perangai bebual seorang.
:P

So, I have GP remedial, have to hand in a newly drafted WR in the morning, Maths quiz tomorrow and then a mass tutorial and another standardized test.
Plus, we have to hand in our donation card.
Maybe, continue with the decorations?

May Allah give me His blessings and guidance tomorrow.
I have to be strong.
I have the capabilty to overcome every challenges tomorrow.
Yeah, go Naj, go! :D

<3
I know.
I love myself too much.
But if I don't, who will?
(:

Please don't emo tomorrow okay people.
I need the motivation and people to make me go crazy.
A person's action could influence my mood a lot tomorrow since sleeping won't be the option for me. :P

It's A Beautiful Night

2011-08-21T21:27:00.001+08:00

Hello!
So I had a great and awesome weekend!

Yesterday, had an early start with Mira, Haris, Diyanah and Iffa.
Met up with them to go to Geylang!
We were looking for Raya decorations for school.
Hot and tiring! Hahah!
We found what we were looking for and went on to look for seats.
Slacked for about 5 minutes or so.

Then I was off to HQ for my test.
Ohmy, what a difficult one.
Far from what I've expected.
After that, slacked at Nicoll Highway mrt with Jannah, Ain and Rui Ting.
Enjoying free aircon while we awaited the arrival of RT's friend.
Great catch up with them (;

Up next, met up with Aniyah, sister and bro-in-law.
We went to the library till it was almost time to breakfast!
Went home for breakfast.
Next, went to the mosque.

Can you believe it, Aniyah prayed with us.
That's like 17 raka'at. (:
Home after prayers and we watched Fear Itself.
She fell asleep after that.
That made her sleepover after a very very long time!
:D

Today, went to Geylang again!
Walked in Joo Chiat for the free aircon.
(:

I had a great time.

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A Once In A Blue Moon Rebel

2011-08-19T14:22:00.001+08:00

When you want to fake your sickness but in the end making the sickness a reality.
I feel lethargic now.

Today is the first time I skipped school.
Like seriously, I don't know why I told myself to do such a thing.
Well, I had my reasons to skip school.

First, I overslept thus I didn't want to start a late coming record.
Second, I haven't done my homework hence don't want to risk myself from getting the whole class scolded by the ST.

And since it's Friday, I had my reasons to come to school too!
There's CCA today!
I can't miss my cca even if it's for a day! (:

Now that I'm in school, I feel so awkward.
People I know gave me the shocked look that I'm here.
And I have to explain to them why I missed school. D:

The best thing? My mum don't even know she gave me the permission to skip school. Now, I'm gonna die.
Shit man. :0

Had a great dinner just now.
Like seriously, it was fun to disturb Firzanah with I.
Hahahaha!

And I took the bus home with Aizat for the first time.
Super awkward.
And we only had two very short conversation.
The rest of the time, we just sat in silence.
Hahah.

Hmm, now I have to convince my dad to write a parents letter for me.
Without my mum's knowledge.
:/

Come on, my family is not the type to visit the clinic everytime we are sick.
Seriously.
No.

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Travel Back In Time

2011-08-18T01:55:00.001+08:00

Hello!
Yesterday had been such a dead-zombie day for my group members and I.
Well, we all were rushing through our wr the night before. Lack of sleep and full of frustration.
Hayyu and Hanz were so sweet to motivate us. (:

Well, pw lecture was enlightening.
Lecture was conducted by Mr Sas and hence, it was "laughable" and enjoyable.
Then our mood was brought down by GP. Hahah.
-.-

One of the highlight of the day was the PJ's first Got Talent Competition.
Martian Trio was up first, making a good opening act for the competition.
I was glad that it wasn't only me who thought they were awesome!
And Haris ss-ness at the back was so fun to watch.
Hahahaha!
He was giving his wide smile at the back at almost every single second. Lol!

The rest after were alright.
Good but yeah.
The crowd wasn't enthusiastic enough.
Hahaha.

The last performance by Marley Ramly was another awesome act! The perfect closing!
When they danced to "Marry You", I wished I could dance as good too. D:
It was like watching those amazing performances by So You Think You Can Dance pro dancers.
(:

Another highlight of the day, I met up with Sher and Jel!
Hahahaha, penat lelah, ku putus asa.
Had a great time reminiscing the past with them.
About Sher and Hariz, our malay teachers, the boys unexpectedly being in Malay dance and those silly, childhood moments of ours.

Sigh.
I really hope that someday, I could find the SYF 2006 performance. I want to see our dance again.
(:

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We All Need A Prayer

2011-08-16T13:33:00.001+08:00

Hey!

I'm in the library now. Having our break before GP.
I don't really know what I'm feeling now.
Izza told me about a boy who lose his mum a week ago.
And then we started talking about death, depression and all.

Well, I have been feeling sad and ridiculous these few days, and she told me something interesting.
"When you are depressed, seek to Allah for help and open the Quran. He will lead you to the right way."

I'm truly amazed.
(:

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Bitter Sweet Ending

2011-08-14T20:14:00.001+08:00

So, I was sad earlier.
I deleted my twitter on impulse and I'm still a little bummed out about that. ):
It's like losing a love one.
You'll miss the moments you've had.

I guess, I'm missing out on a lot of stuff now but I shouldn't be sad.
I'm actually quite happy!
I saw Cik Odah and Cikgu Zaleha!
I really could feel true joy and I know I almost wanted to scream out their name.
I was already mouthing "CIKGU!" without a sound.
Hahah!

Well, that's one.
Another reason why I'm happy is because I'll be meeting my friends this Wednesday!
Especially when both Sher and Fida are free and the rest says they probably could make it,
It's just like my dream came true.
Sigh.
(:

Okay, I should get back to work after Isyak.
PW baybehhh! :D

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I Set Fire To The Rain

2011-08-14T13:19:00.004+08:00

I love making myself sad.
I don't know why.

Someday, I'll be the boss.
Just not anytime near now.
Hahah.

I've just deactivated my twitter account.
I get mad irritated easily and that's just not right.
Now, there's only you my dear blog.
Just you. (:

Deleting things in my life.
Things I would never think of deleting.
I just did.

Don't worry.
I still need you.
I will never ever ever delete you.
And if I ever lose you due to technology malfunction one day,
I'll never forget you.
I'll cry the whole night for you.
I'll remember every single memories we shared together.

I really love you blog.
Thanks for always being there for me.
♥

Back To December

2011-08-12T02:21:00.002+08:00

Heyyo!
I'm such a loser because I haven't posted a thing in August.
It's the fasting month people!

Other than that, what's new?
My notebook is not halved.
I'm trying to adapt to it.
Well, I really want to fix it but I don't have the heart to use Ayah's money anymore.
Hmm.

Well, life's not that great.
It's pretty awesome at one moment.
And at another, it's just like suckish kind of moments.
I think people are avoiding me.
Or I have it all played in my head.

I'm such a bad friend.
Really, I'm not kidding.
I feel guilty but I never do a thing.
Sigh, I don't know what's wrong with me.
I guess I was meant to be a loner.

I don't even have a best friend.
All I have are friends I could share my secrets and life with but they're already somebody else's best friends.
How could I be so cruel to steal their best friends away.
It's sad life really.

There's no real happiness if your heart is constantly hurting, you're always wondering about life and you just don't know what to do with yourself.

I'm happy but really, it's not happiness.

I know right, craps.
I should be doing my Chemistry anyway.
I guess I just got distracted by my feelings.
I'm an emotional girl.
I can't stand that too.
The things I hate about me. :/

Listening to You're Beautiful by James Blunt.
This song is ancient but hey, it's meaningful.
That's all that matters.
(:

Just At The Edge

2011-07-25T17:28:00.002+08:00

Heyyo!

Blogging all the way from school.
People would think I'm doing pw now. HAHAH.

K, whatever.

Sigh, what's wrong with today?
It feels so different.
Today.

Ever since morning I already knew.
Is it because everyone havimg the "Monday Blues" in school?
I don't know.

Something is just so very wrong.
Have been trying to figure this our from 8am today.
Well, yeah, a big fail.

Oh yeah, have been waiting for Lava from just now.
Now she's backkkkk!
Woots, I can home now.

:D

K bye.

It's Coming Undone

2011-07-17T20:52:00.002+08:00

Hey blog.
I've abandoned you for so long, I'm sorry.

I've been having a bad weekend nights.
I just don't know why.
Everything seems wrong.

Must be due to such a great Friday I had.
I felt so happy, nothing was wrong.
Walked to Lot 1 with the lovable dancers,
Laughing and going crazy under the rain.

Hmm, Chem is stressing me out.
I don't want another s or even a u for promo.
I don't want to get retain.
I don't want my parents to know I've failed everything for mye.
I know it was my fault.
And I'm trying so hard to do better.
With a start like this, I'm just depressed.
Well, I'll be fine.

(:

All I Ever Thing About Is You

2011-07-03T23:57:00.003+08:00

Hello!

Today was quite a boring Sunday.
Well, it was sure a fun and amazing night though! (:

Bro is back from Africa so the babies were here.
So were my other brother and sis-in-law.
And Aqilah was so freaking adorable tonight!
With all the crying because she wanted some food!

:D

And I think I'm pretty tired now.
Physically and mentally.
Hahah, not because of any studying to do.
Well, because, because, because,

I couldn't stop thinking about you. ):

Sometimes, I hate being me.
I hate feeling all so emoish.
I hate the fact that I get hurt so easily.
I hate that I'm fragile.
I hate that I feel insecure easily.

When others asked me if I like anybody now,
I just reluctantly say no.
I want to deny the possibility of me liking you.

It's just a stupid crush.
Nothing but a crush.
Get over it, Naj.

(:

I love talking to myself on twitter. And on blogger.
So random.

Okay, have fun partaypartay people.
(:

My Heart Tears Apart

2011-06-24T21:03:00.003+08:00

What's so fake about you?
Hmm, let me see.

The fact that after I scolded you, you act like you want to tidy up the place.
What are you trying to do?
Steal some love away?
Eff off okay.

You got your own father.
Omgosh, you're so good at tidying up.
Omgosh, you're so good at acting too.
And go far away from me lah.
You just want to be screamed at again right?

HAHAH!

You're just too funny.
Seriously, tell me what are you trying to do.
Don't have to pretend please.
Just want my mum to go "oh, good girl" and my dad to say it too right?

And what's up with you trying to get my dad's attention so much?
Want to be one of his daughters too?
Pfft, you father is still here.
He got shitload of stuff that he still owes my mum and still, we have to take care of you?

Seriously, I'm wondering why my parents willingly took care of you.
And after everything, your father still take us for granted.
And what did I hear that day?
Your father "jokingly" say my mum is gonna die next?
SERIOUSLY WHO THE BIG F HE THINK HE IS?!
Nak bayar hutang nak tunggu orang mati per, bodoh nye jantan.

Hmm.
I give you till august k.
If not, I don't give a damn anymore.
You are going out.

Every Sad Day Gets A Happy Return

2011-06-13T01:45:00.009+08:00

Hello my sayang blog!

Hahahah!
I feel like I'm being one of those irritating fake people I usually hate tonight.
Well, I know I am.
Guess why?

Because I'm so thankful for todayyyy!

Went to the Singapore F1 Drift Race today with my siblings!
It was so bloody awesome!
The atmosphere, the experience.
The best part?
I got to sit beside Fandi Ahmad for a photo with him and Aide Iskandar!

SO AWESOME!

For the first time okay, I meet local artiste and took a photo!
I mean, I may have met some others before but they were mostly snobbish type..or I just couldn't take a photo with them.

Then we went to eat at Tanjong Pagar Railway station till I'm like so full.
Next, Marina Barrage to play water.
And I really played till I got wet and stinky..

And now, I think I'm falling sick. ):

Oh yes, got a meeting today and tomorrow.
Sianz.

I'm only looking forward to tease somebody who got himself a new post!
MY PARTNER BAYBEHHH!
Hahahah!

I'm pretty sure he will be cursing all the way tomorrow.
See who got the last laugh now. (:
K, I'm feeling so evil.

I kinda feel bad for him.

In fact, we're all so suay..
All our post are like the shittest one.
Hmm.

K, bye!
(:

*throat hurts like omg~*

OOOOH, went out with Sher, Rina D and Farhan on Sat.

FUNNY ONLY! :D

Never mind. Go like okay.
Thanks.

Bye~ Lol.

I Don't Want To Miss A Thing

2011-05-29T02:55:00.002+08:00

Hello!

College Day is finally over.
I think our final dance was the best dance we've done so far(though I made a mistake!) !
I'm so gonna miss my random geng for awhile since we won't meet for practices.
I really hope there's gonna be more dance after MYE.
*wishing*

Yesterday had a drama "fight" with a certain drama king.
HAHAHAH!
We fought because I didn't want to run with him in our costumes. LOL!
Oh no, it's LOOOL. :D
Then he broke our friendship off. ):

HAHAHAH!
Dramaaaaaa.

Oooh, and Mira and I created a handshake plus ankle bonus! :D
Practised it in front of Cotton On!
HAHAHAH! LIKE WE ARE JUST SO CUTE OR WHATTT!

Okay, so back to today.

Oh yeah, McD!
We ordered then before college day,
they came like 2 hours late. -.-
Everyone was like in no mood because there was no food. HEHEH.

Okay, so after we ate and all, went to MI!
Awang Belanga with YH's students baybeh!
Asked Mira to come along also.
Shaf followed too :D

.
.
.

Okay, that's it.
I'm tired.
Gonna go to sleep now.
Don't want to get moody because of these things in my head.

SO SMILE! :D

Some Scars Won't Wound

2011-05-24T22:37:00.002+08:00

Hmm, it's been a long while.
Many things happened, things that made me feel happy or unhappy, angry or frustrated.
Such things.

):

Things Shouldn't Be This Way

2011-05-09T19:46:00.003+08:00

Things I have to do:

GP Essay.
PI.
GP gender compre.
Chem energetics tutorial.
Chem additional question.
Malay essay.
Maths tutorial 6.
Kinematics assignment.
Forces assignment.
Dynamics tutorial.

There's dance tomorrow.
It ends at 9.30pm.

I'm sick.
Stop complaining.
-.-

2011-05-03T19:34:00.002+08:00

I cannot stand this.
I cannot stand this anymore.

Please, just go already.
Just go away from my life.
Ask your damn father to go get married and get your own house.
You can have all the bloody things in your house.
But not in MY HOUSE!

Not my mum, not my dad!
Not my things, my sister's or aniyah's.
NOT ANYTHING IN THIS HOUSE!

Congrats. You just ruined my damn night again!

Not Everything Is Sweet

2011-05-02T20:32:00.002+08:00

Hello.

I'm not getting a new niece or nephew.
)':
At least it's not to the fifth months or something.
Inalillahwailahirajiun.

And I feel so sad today.
Osama passed away already.
Not that happy.
Well, not everyone knows the ugly truth.
Cruel people do for power hunger.
Affecting my whole religion.
Astargfirullahalazim.

Give me the strength to stay happy, focussed, positive.
Insyallah.

(:

We Can Party Like Weekend

2011-05-01T00:56:00.002+08:00

HIIII!

I'm addicted to Youtube recently~
Becuase I will be trying so hard to find videos on BTR.
and all videos of Logan singing or something.
Heee.

So today I went to Temasek JC.
Aloneeee.
Hahah, went to support Diyanah, Haris and Liana for Semarak Budaya!
Their performance was awesome!

And that's whyyyyy,

THEY WON BEST PERFORMANCE!
PLUS DIYANAH GOT BEST ACTRESS,
LIANA GOT SECOND BEST ACTRESS!

AWESOME OR WHAT?!

Just like monologue group which won best performance and best director for DENAI KASIH!
:D

The video is in facebook.

And I just learnt today that zooming in and out will affect the sound of the filming.
Wasted seh!
If not it would have been a great video.

Anyway,
I'm so in love with Logan Henderson.
But I know I will never ever meet him in person.
And we can never be together.
Hahahahahah!

So I need an eye candy soon.
Not like I don't have any now.
Lol.

K, mentel.
Stop it.
Minah.

Oh yeah, I'm gonna get a new anak sedara!
NEPHEW/NIECE!

I want nephew please!
:D

Back To The Beginning

2011-04-28T22:46:00.004+08:00

HOLLLAAAAAAAAA!

I've been wanting to post something for thise whole week but just couldn't find the time.
Well, mostly because I end up sleeping or rushing through my homework.

OR...

WATCHING BTR!

LOGAN HENDERSON~ <3

Okay, I'm in love.

So I promised my teacher that I will give her a draft PI to mark.
And I have to do a Malay essay with 6 points.
Plus Chemistry tutorial.
ARGHHHH!

Oh yeah, something interesting today.
I went to Popular.

HAHAH!
Then some people wanted to borrow my card.
Like zzzz lah.

Atq asked me to ask for 50 cents charge.
LOL!
But eventually, the auntie gave me $2!
HAHAHAH!
And to think we wanted to ask for 50 cents charge!
Heheheheheh!

Tomorrow is Friday.
PE/-
I'm not looking forward to tomorrow, surprisingly.
SHEEEESH!

Try Everyday Of My Life

2011-04-16T21:16:00.002+08:00

Hello!

I'm actually very emo now.
At least I'm not crying today!
That's awesome.
Crying 3 days consecutively is horrible.

After every cry, I would wonder if people think I'm such an emotional person.
Well, the first day I cried was due to some people forcing me to do something I couldn't.
Like how can you change me on the spot right?
=.=

The next two days, I cried because of SYF.
We got silver.
Yay!

Still, I felt so guilty.
I acted so stupidly.
I should have just gone out of that curtain.
I stupidly shifted curtains and went out at the wrong timing.
I'm that stupid.
My mistake was that obvious.
I'm blaming myself for us not getting a gold.

People have such high expectations on us.
They're expecting a gold from us.
And what did I do?
I screw it up for them.
Sorry MCS.
If it wasn't for me, gold could still be ours.
:/

I think this week had been the most miserable week for me.
I'm just so sad and tired everyday.
Well, syf really brought me down.
I feel so stupid, guilty and everything bad.

That's one cca.
Another external cca that makes me so pressurised,
St John.

I didn't even sign for it to be my external CCA.
I'm willing if I have to come back to help the juniors train.
But to go for ANCO CAMP AGAIN?!

You know what, I'd be fine to just go for it in actual fact.
But to know that the seven sent only 2 ncos to the camp?
WHAT THE SHIT?!

It's just not fair.
Life is just not fair. :/

Behind Your Make Up, Nobody Knows

2011-04-08T14:58:00.002+08:00

Hello!

Currently, I'm in the school library.
Completed my assignment that -.- will go through later.
Utter crap, I'm telling you!
Hahah, I don't understand a single thing please.

I'm supposed to be doing work but I'm so tired.
Physically and mentally tired.
SYF is coming in exactly 6 days.
I hope we can get GOLD(with honour) :D
The very last school to perform.
How nerve-wrecking and pressurizing it is for us O.O

Oh, it's so cold in here.
Hopefully I can complete PI by tomorrow.
It's scary to hear they got mostly Bs and Cs from the seniors.
Most of my kairos friends are sad with their Cs.

Well, it's full of shit really to spend most of your time working on your PW and ending up with a C.
Hopefully, that won't happen to me and my group.
I want A!

Hahah, I have a wish.
Some wish that I will never ever tell until I've succeeded and completed this course of life.
(:

This post is full of hopes.
And I'm hungry now..
Haven't eaten cos I forgot to bring money.
Dumb right.
I should have just fasted.
Hmms.

Early Months

2011-04-03T23:05:00.002+08:00

I hate it everytime a new month starts.
I also hate it everytime the month is close to the end.
It just makes me emo all the time.

Every single thing can affect me.
Like I'm so fragile during that period of time.
Every single thing will go process thoroughly in my mind.
Processing the evil thoughts of it.

Then, I feel so down.
All I want to do is to cry.

Like now.

Talking To The Moon

2011-03-20T02:12:00.003+08:00

HELLO!

Hmm, I'm very stuck at editing the blog.
What should I do now?

And talking about stuck, I can't do my Chem quiz.
It's a freaking pissed me off thing.
I can't start the quiz like whyyyyyyy omgggg!

Feel so helpless.
What if it affects my CA?
Then I will dieeee! ):

I really want to get promoted and get into University by 2013.
Well, I don't want to repeat and I'm scared.
):

Alright, enough about that.
Hmm, I feel so ...
Haizz.
Why.
Go away this stupid feeling.
Why.
Go away!

Trying to cheer myself up.
My heart is beating very fast.
Why.

Oh, and the moon is beautiful.
Once every 28 days, right?
Hahah, it's been 6 years of practical Science.
I miss learning about Space.
(:

Who Says You're Not Worth It

2011-03-18T02:21:00.003+08:00

HELLO!

I've been "busy" ever since school started.
Well, been "busy" since holiday started too!

Hmm, so updates.
We lost for Pantun.

So much drama for that Pantun thing please.

Hmm, FAC camp was successful.
Though, day 1 totally ruined my no emo week.
Hahah.

MCS practice is getting a little tough too.
Mentally tough.
Toleration is key. (:

Just watched the latest episode of glee.
Kurt and Blaine kissed!
Heheh.
As much as I'm grossed out by 2 guys kissing, and knowing Darren Criss is straight,
I still think their relationship is adorable.
Lol.
I mean, I wish I was Kurt.
With a guy like Blaine, I will just melt away so easily.

Haizz.

And yeah, I love how Finn smiled when he understood Rachel's song.
I wish I have those kind of moments.
LOL.

But all these are so not realistic.
It will never happen.
Maybe someday, it will, hopefully.
But just not now.

Haizz.

Okay, whatever.

I met up with Shereen and Jelina 2 days ago!
Awesome kay, watched Red Riding Hood.
I miss them!
I wish next Thursday will happen.
Like, please please please happen!

& YAYAY! Today is Atiqah's birthday!
Why must her birthday always fall on March holiday?
I can't even meet her on her birthday.
):

Long Time Gone

2011-02-27T02:26:00.002+08:00

It's been a few weeks since I'm gone.
Nobody cares...-.-

So, what's new?
School.

Oh, I'm getting really tired nowadays.
All I want to do is sleep like a pig.
In lectures, break time, at home.

And the subjects are getting tougher.
Especially Chemistry because the lecturer just go "zoomzoomzoom" in monotone!
Makes me sleepy and bored, trying very hard to listen to his explaination.

And we had road run last Friday.

Oh yeah, my PE teacher ade us run 2.4km in the morning.
She said she wouldn't do that but she still did it in the end. ):

Anyway back to road run, walked with Atq, Basy and Jnh.
Halima ran to get the 50th position!
LIKE AWESOME RIGHT!

Stayed back after the ~~run~~ walk to wait for Atq.
Ended up leaving the school at 8.30pm.

So today, went for Pantun instead of the H2 Malay talk.
Met Nadiah! :DDDD
So the pantun thing was alright.
Fun, but contradicting.
Learning the way to make a pantun from 3 different perspective is confusing.
-.-!

Next week is the first round.
Against Maadrasah Wak Tanjung and MI.
@,@
*breathes in and out*

All the best lah eh. ^.*

Put Your Hands Out

2011-02-14T18:20:00.002+08:00

Hey!

It's been such a long time since I last blogged right?
Lol.

Ever since school started I've either been busy or lazy!
:D

So, last stop was the orientation camp.
Which was AWESOME!
Though, something happened in between and yeah.
But I still could bond with the class! Yeah!

And so two days of camp.

Home on birthday eve! Lol.

School started at 9am on 9 Feb!
A guy almost wanted to share cab with me as it was our first lesson and we were gonna be late.
But it didn't happen. Hahah!

CT time in class.
Then 11S13 sang a birthday song for me!
Like so sweet~ :D

Thne had recess with Jannah and Aishah.
Aishah didn't give me her hug ):
LOL!
Sebok je cari orang lain...:P

Then nothing else happened after that.
Yeap.

Thursday was the day of real lessons.
Yadayadayada.

I almost died for PE on Friday!
HAHAH!
4 rounds makes me -_-

The class celebrated Florence and my birthday!
Both on the 9th with hers in January.

Jnh also gave me a beary pooh present!

And Ami came down to school to pass me her gift with Atq!
Went to Macs after that.
Atq had to rush for lesson so she left early.
Was happily enjoying the view with Ami until it was time for me to go.

THEN....

I realised that I left my wallet at Macs! -.-
Glad to get it back safely.
Thank you the CCK-ian who became my hero!

Then, after Malay, had MCS.
Celebrated vice-president's early birthday.
I was like OH MY GOD!

TODAY!
IT'S VALENTINES DAY~
Ya, whatever..

So I had a long break today!
And the school's SC was selling balloons for Friendship day.
Lava bought 3, which cost her $7.50.

While she was trying to attack Izza, two of her balloons flew due to the strong wind!
And the balloons were helium balloons.
Hairizad got one of them, caught by another girl.

The other balloon was at the ceiling!
HAHAH!
HANZ TO THE RESCUE SEH!

The whole canteen was cheering for him.
Like seriously, there's some school spirit. Lol.

So basically, today was awesomely fun.
:D

Back to work :P

Matriculation Group One Six

2011-02-03T03:31:00.002+08:00

HELLO!

Okay, so HAPPY LUNAR NEW YEAR!
It marks the end of MGs today.
Next week have to be grouped into class already.
And I'm in 11S13.

So I really had fun with MG16 for the past 3 days.
Especially with the Husband&Wife game.
It's so exciting, you just can't expect when to run.
And something very hilarious happened during the game with MG12.
Seriously, epic!

Cheers and dance made orientation fun too!
Though, I've forgotten some of the steps now.
2 songs with a lot of unrepeated steps!
Tough.

Then, before we went for the concert, had HTHT with MG16.
Lol.
Concert was alright.
The teachers are .. supportive?
They created their MV, danced for the ~~students~~Pioneers.

Hahah, I'm a PIONEER!

K, whatever.

Aww, I can't meet my girlfriends this holiday.
So disappointing, I couldn't go.
):

And lessons in PJC for us begins on 9 Feb.
*Please don't make me moody! Please don't ruin my mood!*

Yep, okay, that's it.
Because it's 3.45am in the morning.
I'm getting really tired.
Adiozzzzzzz!

Let's Be Strong

2011-01-31T19:08:00.002+08:00

3rd day of orientation.

Orientation was fun!
Learnt cheers and mass dance!
Woo, crazy!

Then received a message about getting a place in H2 Malay.
So met up with the other girls and meet the teacher.
He make me regret my choice.
He make me feel so damn depressed.

I don't even know if I'm making the right choice.
):

F.
Ruin my mood.
Patah semangat aku.
What are you trying to do seriously?

D:

Just The Helper

2011-01-29T22:06:00.002+08:00

Hello!
So internal FAC just ended.
Super tiring!

I want to go and sleep now but I feel like I must blog first.

So, came around 9.40am, looked around for ShY but she was nowhere to be found.
So went into SJ room to help.
Moved here and there.
Slacked and changed.
Eventually the whole event started.

The walkietalkie that home nursing got was so suay.
The battery died on us.
So we used phone instead. Ahh, technologies..

Home nursing started a bit late.
But I guess, everything was smoothly done?
Hahah, need to help in clearing up plus video taking.
It felt weird to be there.
My heart was really racing fast due to excitement. Hahah.

After ended, clear up.
Helped in serving refreshments.
Then, prize presentation!

What happens next?
NC1 got best in home nursing!
I was so damn proud of them that I cheered loudly alone.
Lol.

Of course, seeing everyone at least got something for the team makes me happy too!
Even though there's exception. :P

Had meeting after that.
Shifted everything back to the one-day-only-very-clean SJ room ):

Had dinner after that with ShY, ET, Van, HX, HuiLing, Zha, Jer, Jacky and JJ.
Not really together lah but just in the same place.
Still trying to recover from heart attack.
Oh, whatever will be will be.

NC1 PAST OR PRESENT, YOU FREAKING RULE MY HEART! :-*

The Start Of Something New

2011-01-26T10:31:00.002+08:00

HELLO!

Posting results out today.
And at 7.20 am, I was informed that I will be going to PJC.
At first I was quite disappointed.
It lasted about an hour or so.
But, I'm alright with this result now.

From my HML class, there are 7 out of 18 being posted to PJC.
Like woah.

Have been refraining myself to go to JJC website.
Haaaaa!

Oh well, trying to choose subject combination.
I don't know, I don't know.
I want to take Malay and Literature.
But, I already have enough H2 subjects.
Which are important for other courses.
I don't know, I don't know.

Wait, if I want to become an architect, I have to take Physics.
If I want to be involved in medication and stuff, Chemistry is needed.
Economics help me to know about the world career and stuff.
Maths is just so super important.

So, I shouldn't take Malay anymore?
:/

Just wait for tomorrow aye?

Gonna go to school later.
I mean Kranji.

#Last day of waking up late.

-though, I have to wake up early these few days to send Lydya to school.
Hahah, life.

Patience Is Virtue

2011-01-26T00:17:00.003+08:00

Hey, I spent a whole day at my bro's house today.
Got to play with the babies and I'm so damn glad I've made the right choice to be out of house the whole day!

Know why?

BECAUSE I CAN'T STAND IT IN MY HOUSE ALREADY!

It's no longer because of jealousy.
It's more than that.
This kid is too much already!
She even say she want to be on wheelchair when she's perfectly fine!
Bloody shit lah!

And now my mum is like under some kind of her spell.
Freaking irritating like shit!
I'm so bloody freaking pissed off with her!

Maybe it's in my family's blood that we all have this anger in us.
She even caused me to shout at the top of my lungs.
Her cries are mostly fake and she over reacts.
Like swipe in the eye, even if it hurts, it's not that painful.
But she, she shriek and cried. It was as if she could bring the whole house down!
IRRITATING

*deep breaths*

Okay, thank you blog.
The only place I could rant to.
(:

Please give me the strengh to be patient with her.
Please show me guidance to treat her nicely like my own sister.
Oh Allah, please I beg you.
I don't want to continue building up this sin of mine towards her.
Amin.

Got To Give In

2011-01-23T13:14:00.002+08:00

Hey.

Let's talk about yesterday before I rant.

So yesterday, went for training.
Blablabla, training was as usual.

Went home and played with Aqilah.
She talked to me, ahh, cheers me up!
She went home awhile later and we all prepared to go Johor.

Met Aniyah and off to Johor.
Eat, eat.
Realised I have this toilet phobia.
I don't like going toilet elsewhere other than my house toilets. :P

Next, went pandan.
Bro bought me a bag. (:
Eldest brother got me a watch, youngest brother got me a bag.
Now just need to go out with my middle brother to get a ....pair of shoes?
:P

Reached home around 3am then off to sleep.

Now, rant time.

I have a little sister now.
Well, her mum passed away.
So we take care of her, since her father needs to go to work.

I'm damn irritated please.
I'm not used to not being the youngest child in this house.
Now she's calling my mum like what we call our mum.
I just feel like crying ah.

I keep telling myself, she's partly an orphan so I cannot treat her like this.
But, it's so damn difficult!
The way her mum brought her up has made this girl who gets what she wants.
And here, she can't get what she wants.

AHHHH.
I need to learn to control my angers.
I regret wanting a younger siblings.
I still can't ler her in.
):

One Thousand And One

2011-01-20T00:19:00.003+08:00

HELLO!!!!!!

I've hit the 1000th post!
So this is the 1st after 1000th post!
Yay, I don't know why I'm happy with the 1000th post.
It's not an achievement.
Yet, it took me 5 years to make it to 1000th.
SO WHOOPWHOOP!

And yesterday, my sister and I massaged our mum!
It was so freaking hilarious!
One of those loved moments.
(Y)

Oh, I meant yesterday's yesterday.
LOL!

So yesterday was Lydya's first day of school.
After we fetched her, we fetched Aniyah.
Then went to IMM.
Lastly, home! :D

You Don't Have To Believe Me

2011-01-18T04:22:00.002+08:00

Hey, and I'm back to blog again.
I was tired, and I still am.
Just that I'm so stubborn that I don't want to sleep.
Feel like I must finish some business first. :/

Hahah, I have nothing to do actually.
Went bloghopping.
Yeah, I'm jealous of their wonderful English.
They could have it written so perfectly.
Amazingly, intriguing.

And mine?
Just "SUCKS TO THE CORE".

Yeahyeah, nobody reads this so?

Haizz, screw insecurities.
D:

Okay, don't be sad because I'm awesome.
Everybody's awesome!
Just need to believe!

And yes, I really can't wait for 29th.
and 4 Feb.
Plus 5 Feb.
Hopefully.
Jangan buat stress sudah! (:

Oh yeah, 27th.
School starts.
They will tell us what to bring right?
:/

Why our plans changed?
All went down to the drain.
Oh well.

Now, I'm sleepy. :O

Flow Like River

2011-01-18T01:22:00.002+08:00

Hello!

I went back to SAPS today with family.
Wanted to get Lydya to school there.
The security didn't let all of us in but we sneak inside. :O
She don't even know who's the Principal. -.-

So, when I went there, the kids were having recess.
What's with the Prefect school crest ironed on the PE shirt?
And with random kids coming into the General Office?
Hahah, I miss that school.
Though, I'm somehow glad to be out!
If not my PE shirt would need that crest, not nice!
:B

Oh yeah, a girl went up to my mum and said,
"Cikgu, dah lama tak jumpa cikgu!"
(Teacher, I haven't seen you in a long time!)
LOL!
My mum never became a school teacher nor those she look like any of the teacher in that school.
So cute!

Then went to Hong Kah since SAPS got 20 kids waiting for their spot in that school.
Recess just ended for them.
Aww, my sister's student came running to her to hug her.
So sweet, like daughter meets mother.
And there was a boy on wheelchair.
He kept looking at us so I smiled.
Then he smiled back! Hahah, he will grow to be a handsome boy!

And so, Lydya got her place in HKPS.
:D

Later, Aniyah and Aqilah came over!
Aniyah became my teacher and thought me how to write.
Hahahah! She only know how to scribble. -.-

Yeah, today got training! :D
Actually, there's one yesterday but I skipped it because of Aniyah.
Cannot have my family talk bad about SJ already.
:P

Oh Yeah

2011-01-16T16:01:00.002+08:00

How ironic.
My mum don't let my sister and I watch Channel 8.
Now she's watching it.
Hahah.

Anyway, watching Oh Yeah!
Waiting for the 13th episode to be out. :O

I love these skits from Oh Yeah! :D

And yay! Aniyah and Aqilah coming tomorrow.
I hope no change of plans!
:D

Life As It Was

2011-01-15T23:12:00.002+08:00

Hello! I went back to training today!
Was in charge of footdrill.
Shall not comment here.

After lunch, had talks with my former team.
Just don't give up girls!
I love them so much lah!
Yay, can't wait for my date with them.
Hopefully they don't emo on that day. (:

Then did a case with them.
I totally forget everything and got back in the don't-know-what-to-do-state I used to be.
Lol.

It rained heavily so had to wait till 5 plus.
Was in the room with my two old babies,
Reminisce about the old shows with ET while ShY was engrossed with games.
LOL.
So cute!

Got home and slept.
Woke up to pizza because mak is sick so ayah gave her what she wants.
Ayah sent mak to the polyclinic, super sweet.
Hahah.

Now, ~~watching~~ listening to Tom & Jerry.
Their characters don't even talk -.-
Hahah.
But after watching it so much as a child, I still can remember what happen.
It's just a bummer that Jerry is a male mouse.
I used to think it was a female.
So pretty and cute!

Okay, random.
Nightynight!

Things Change, But I Won't

2011-01-14T01:33:00.006+08:00

Yesyes, look at Cik Nasj (:

She's chubby like me! Weee! :D

Hello!
Aqilah slept over yesterday.
I got too tired after the open houses that I couldn't take care of her.
Well, I did once in while.
Aww, she's so darn adorable.

Anyway, watching Oh Yeah! now on youtube.
Then I went to search about Nabil and Irma.
I find it weird though, just because he hugged her, they got the entertainment headlines.
I know it was a long time ago but it still bugs me.
Well, in the movie produced, actors and actresses have to dress half-naked just to be in the "bad" scene.
They do worse than just hugging okay!
How come they were still allowed to have the movie without any criticism?
Then Nabil and Irma just hugged like normal couples can become a gossip.
I know it's wrong in my religion.
But half of the people who are criticising them do that too with their other half what?
-.-

Get my point?

Hahah, sorry.
I'm just wondering why the big fuss?
And there's no fuss at all about those in movies.
It's the same or even worse.
They hug, roll around, wear skimpy short skirts and tight shirt.
It really bugs me that they even allow that.
Oh, world.

Oh well.
Can't wait for Saturday!
Then after that, I can't wait for my posting results.
Though, I dread it a little.
Things changed, it's not the same plan anymore.
But what will be, will be.
I do believe in Qada' and Qadar.
He has His own way of working things for us.
We just have to accept what is given.
Eventhough, there's such second chances as appealing. (:

Next, I can't wait for Internal FAC.
Then, I can't wait for February.
And not just because it's my birthday (on the 9th! HEHEHS!)
Well, I have a lot planned for that month. :D

Hmm, okay the rest, I can wait for it.
Such as the start of a new school, the lessons, orientations, promos(?).
I don't look forward to it much.
Hahah.

Okay, goodbye!

Pakai baju tidur, so tak senonoh (:
When you have webcam and a face.
LOL!

Fresh New Start

2011-01-12T20:50:00.003+08:00

Submitted.
Whatever happen, terserah kepadaNya

So now, Aqilah sleeping over.
My mum keep going "kesian".
My mum is weird.

She wants her granddaughters to sleep here.
When her granddaughters do sleep here, she say the parents want to enjoy themselves.
If you think about it, if the parents don't want to enjoy themselves once in awhile, her granddaughters won't even sleep here in the first place.
-.-

How to leave my babies in the future?
Hahah.
Okay, random.

BYEEEEE!