Live your life, ♥

Haven't been here for a long while. Where did the year go? What have I accomplished? (Quite a few to be honest, but is it worth it?) I'm not at the best state of mind. Been dealing with negativity for the past few days. And my heart... It is filled with a constant pain. An ache. A void that I can't seem to fill. I keep telling myself to stop being stupid. Stop putting my heart on the line. Stop feeling for things that don't matter in the end. And I could feel it hurting. How do I put an end to this?

I had too many drafts that I never ended up publishing. Anyway, this year seems like a big year? Not like big in any way, but a progressive year for me. Found a job (have yet to start, will start in Monday or any time next week GAHH) and I am also an assistant project director for INTRO 2019! I know, I'm supposed to be out of school already, but maybe it's also a blessing in disguise. Like I really wanted to do this since years ago and finally, I'm being presented with this opportunity that I will not say no to. Funny though, I wasn't initially thought to be an APD but I guess Alhamdulillah I got promoted. Trying my best to give my best and to do my best for this show. It's terrifying. All these while, I've been watching from the other side, thinking "I'm glad it's not me because I don't think I can pull through" I know it's contradicting. Like one moment, I really want to be an APD and yet when I observe other people doing