Live your life, ♥

You know, I've abandoned this blog for a long time.  Although I already had 3 posts this year, which was more than in 2017 when I totally didn't update anything at all...  Still, it didn't feel like I was ever back.  Anyway guess what, so many events happened in the span of 7 months, since the start of this year.  Well, there's the world issues: WW3, fires, floodings, politics, fighting for rights  Then there's my issues.  Which is nothing actually but me constantly stressing over life and NOT DOING ANYTHING ABOUT IT BUT JUST LIKE CONTINUE DOWN TO THE ROAD OF THE DAMNED???   Okay, being a little bit dramatic.  But case in point, I actually have to prepare a presentation, build a website and get things going in my life..  Yet, I'm just here.  (Cos actually I was looking for ways to build a better website and missed those times when I customised my own blogskin and then I started to miss blogging. Okay, I digressed. But really, where's all my codings? How do I

Most days, I just want to quit and drop everything. I don't want it to be something I have to do in a short amount of time. I don't want questions to be directed and having to come up with answers with uncertainties. I don't want to live. Nor do I want to die. I just want to not exist for a few days. Falling behind. Falling apart. And is it even worth it in the end? I'm doing so little and complaining too much. My gosh. I'm just horrible in every possible way. Is it too late to quit? Is it too late to try? Why do I keep telling myself it's too late. I just need somebody to talk to. Before it's all too late.

I just want to post this before it's over. Turning 26 is crazy. Suddenly I feel old, all those memories of the past are useless, all those achievements last year were worthless. Birthday didn't feel so good anymore. It's like I'm just accepting the face that I'm a little older than I was before. And like, I don't know, unmotivated towards life. Sometimes I wonder if it's because of the things that happened last year or it's just a burn out stage where I'm taking a break before charging full speed ahead. Maybe it's because my student life is ending and my real adult life is fast approaching and I haven't really gotten all the things I thought I would do before going to the working world. Maybe I'm just scared that I have reached the peak and there's no more check points after this? I know this is untrue but man, I wish I felt differently. But don't get me wrong. I'm still very much contented and thankful and

Just saw an article about pottery classes and suddenly it brought me back to my primary school days when I actually was in Art Club. Don't remember who I joined with or how even did I get Art Club as a CCA for one year (or part of P5 year) but maaaan, I might have been alone (maybe I have that one friend that got me to join) and I specifically remember skipping some because none of my cliques were in it so going for classes were quite tough. Questioning how I went through it if there wasn't anybody pushing me to join. At Primary 5? The first of being alright to be alone?? Also, I know that's where I did my first clay art and learn things about clay sculpture (similar to pottery making and hence this post). And hey, this was just a random post but sometimes I surprise myself with my past, like do you believe I was as such cos I sure don't believe it too.