We Would Still Be Friends Forever

So, I just wrote a poem at 2.25 am today,
when I could have written an essay for my gp, malay or something
(because it's bloody hell 15 days away...),
which could explain why I'm feeling so bothered today.
Nope, not bothered because of my A's is coming.
I mean, I'm bothered by that every single day but actually, I'm also bothered by...
the end of A's.

While 28th November brings about a joyous occasion for me and most of my friends because we have finally freed ourselves from the torturous journey,
I bet it will also give me the slightest tinge of happiness and a whole lot of sadness.
It's like I can foresee myself, thinking about my future:
How will I spend the next 3 months? Still in contact with my friends? Busy working? Or just lazing around alone with a silent phone (not because it's on silent mode)?
I'm already pondering about it now and worrying so much that I may lose my best friends over the break and then just lose them forever.
I hope it doesn't happen but these things, we can't really say much.

Well, I always try to look on the bright side of life but I know I always have to prepare myself for the worst.
Life is full of shocks and surprises.
And seriously, even now, when we are still in the midst of studying and getting over A's,
I feel like I'm losing my friends.
Either that or I'm just pushing them away because I feel emotionally affected when I'm with them.

I mean, I have to admit, I'm pretty insecure when it comes to friendship or anything I'm passionate about.
And the reason is because I'll get too attached to them.
It will be so difficult for me to just move on with life and let go of things, knowing it changed.
I'll hold onto the memories and just wish I could be a part of it for one more time.
But wishes don't come true and I'll get hurt.
So I learn to just push it out of my life because it's either you move on or you'll get hurt.
And nobody wants to get hurt.




You are my friend, the best I know
but as we know,
nothing last forever
or maybe, forever just don't last long.
As things come to an end,
to drift apart is inevitable
though I hope for as long as I live
you will still be my friend.
I tried to make a poem
and poems are supposed to rhyme
but I'm here to apologise
for the things I might do (or have done)
when things are still in one.
Thus, rhyming don't matter and here's what I want to say:
Forgive me if I push you away,
Forgive me if I do not stay,
Forgive me if I start to fade.
For I am trying,
trying my best to feel alone,
trying my best to be on my own,
for when you are gone,
not gone forever,
just when busy time calls,
and we don't even meet in the fall,
I'll still be strong enough
to hold onto the memories,
don't wish for it to come back,
not letting myself crack,
but just enjoy life,
knowing in my heart,
you were once the best friend,
the very best one in my life.

I'm really sorry and thank you for everything. :')