Live your life, ♥

I'm really nervous for tomorrow. I don't know anything. I don't know what to expect, what to do. It's my first lesson but what if I'm too afraid till I screw up during my first lesson? Always freaking out when I think about driving. I want my license, but I don't know if I'm capable of this. I mean, I've always been in the (literally) back seat, watching my dad drive us around. Always wanting to seat in the front passenger seat because I want to pretend I'm driving too. And this is it, finally. I can help dad to fetch the car from high level carparks, he no longer have to climb up those flight of stairs. But what am I saying? I'm only going for my first lesson tomorrow. I hope I don't screw up and I will like my driving instructor. Bismillah. Talking about screw ups, I finally got my rejection letters. What a good laugh, such a joke. Now I can take on any rejection, bring it on hehs. I'm just kidding. I'm still...

Signs. I've been seeing signs everywhere. And it doesn't feel right. Tell her I miss our little talks.

Why? Why do they look at me like I'm spoilt. Why do they look at me like I'm selfish. Why do they look at me and say I'm sensitive. Why do they look at me and say I'm full of anger. Why do they look at me like I'm not independent. Why do they look at me like I'm afraid of everything. Why do they look at me like I'm, like I'm stupid? They have a way of belittling me. They have a way of making me feel so insecure. Am I really spoilt, am I really sensitive, am I really full of anger, am I really timid, am I really stupid? Maybe I am. That's why I'm not smart enough to get into a good secondary school like SCSS or BPGH. That's why I'm not smart enough to get into SAJC or at least JJC. That's why I'm not smart enough to even get into any local uni because I'm stupid. I should have grown up by now. I should be more responsible. And I've done a lot that they've never seen before. Still, all they see m...