There's No In-Between, Take It To Extreme
I'm really nervous for tomorrow.
I don't know anything. I don't know what to expect, what to do.
It's my first lesson but what if I'm too afraid till I screw up during my first lesson?
Always freaking out when I think about driving.
I want my license, but I don't know if I'm capable of this.
I mean, I've always been in the (literally) back seat, watching my dad drive us around.
Always wanting to seat in the front passenger seat because I want to pretend I'm driving too.
And this is it, finally.
I can help dad to fetch the car from high level carparks, he no longer have to climb up those flight of stairs.
But what am I saying?
I'm only going for my first lesson tomorrow.
I hope I don't screw up and I will like my driving instructor.
Bismillah.
Talking about screw ups, I finally got my rejection letters.
What a good laugh, such a joke.
Now I can take on any rejection, bring it on hehs.
I'm just kidding.
I'm still fragile and weak.
But that said, I have to retake my As.
And I H-A-T-E people asking me about what I'm doing now or where I'm going or if I'm even serious about retaking.
I already feel like a loser, feel free to remind me of how much a loser I am.
Hmm.
This is not good.
Okay, nice story, I saw Mr Shah yesterday!
He's my primary 5 form teacher, the best form teacher I've had in primary school besides my primary 1 form teacher, Mrs Mary Goh!
Hehs, I don't know what makes him top my list but well, the only primary 5 memories come from having classes with him.
Like getting 3rd in class which I never thought I was capable of beating 39 others kid for that place.
And his Science lesson (okay this may be a bit weird) on reproductive system. HAHAHA.
Well, he would tell some of his pre bedroom stories and all, now realizing that it was inappropriate for 11 years old, and the door slamming suddenly which we jokingly said that it was a sign from his wife that he shouldn't tell the stories. HAHAH.
And then he praised me because my drawing of the plant cells was the nicest HEHEH :B
Anyway, I saw him with his wife and baby boy.
Thought to myself, didn't he had a baby girl when I was P6?
Oh yes, time flies.
But he was still wearing his favourite colour jersey, red, with long pants.
The reason I know red is his favourite colour is because he had a red car and always wore a red jersey with long pants when he was my teacher.
I'm trying so hard not to make me look like a stalkerish-obsessed student HAHAH
But anyhow, he made me think so much about how I come to be like this in 8 years.
Actually, what have I been?
Hahaha.
If only I'm not so afraid and not lazy, I would have been greater than what I am.
I've had a nice history and if only I've brought those qualities I had when I was young to my process of growing up, I wouldn't need to be facing As twice.
And if I had a good rapport with my teachers, acknowledged them more and don't see them as trying to critisize and mess me up, it would be like those times in my younger years.
With change comes new experience and with that comes a greater you.
I don't know anything. I don't know what to expect, what to do.
It's my first lesson but what if I'm too afraid till I screw up during my first lesson?
Always freaking out when I think about driving.
I want my license, but I don't know if I'm capable of this.
I mean, I've always been in the (literally) back seat, watching my dad drive us around.
Always wanting to seat in the front passenger seat because I want to pretend I'm driving too.
And this is it, finally.
I can help dad to fetch the car from high level carparks, he no longer have to climb up those flight of stairs.
But what am I saying?
I'm only going for my first lesson tomorrow.
I hope I don't screw up and I will like my driving instructor.
Bismillah.
Talking about screw ups, I finally got my rejection letters.
What a good laugh, such a joke.
Now I can take on any rejection, bring it on hehs.
I'm just kidding.
I'm still fragile and weak.
But that said, I have to retake my As.
And I H-A-T-E people asking me about what I'm doing now or where I'm going or if I'm even serious about retaking.
I already feel like a loser, feel free to remind me of how much a loser I am.
Hmm.
This is not good.
Okay, nice story, I saw Mr Shah yesterday!
He's my primary 5 form teacher, the best form teacher I've had in primary school besides my primary 1 form teacher, Mrs Mary Goh!
Hehs, I don't know what makes him top my list but well, the only primary 5 memories come from having classes with him.
Like getting 3rd in class which I never thought I was capable of beating 39 others kid for that place.
And his Science lesson (okay this may be a bit weird) on reproductive system. HAHAHA.
Well, he would tell some of his pre bedroom stories and all, now realizing that it was inappropriate for 11 years old, and the door slamming suddenly which we jokingly said that it was a sign from his wife that he shouldn't tell the stories. HAHAH.
And then he praised me because my drawing of the plant cells was the nicest HEHEH :B
Anyway, I saw him with his wife and baby boy.
Thought to myself, didn't he had a baby girl when I was P6?
Oh yes, time flies.
But he was still wearing his favourite colour jersey, red, with long pants.
The reason I know red is his favourite colour is because he had a red car and always wore a red jersey with long pants when he was my teacher.
I'm trying so hard not to make me look like a stalkerish-obsessed student HAHAH
But anyhow, he made me think so much about how I come to be like this in 8 years.
Actually, what have I been?
Hahaha.
If only I'm not so afraid and not lazy, I would have been greater than what I am.
I've had a nice history and if only I've brought those qualities I had when I was young to my process of growing up, I wouldn't need to be facing As twice.
And if I had a good rapport with my teachers, acknowledged them more and don't see them as trying to critisize and mess me up, it would be like those times in my younger years.
With change comes new experience and with that comes a greater you.
Comments
Post a Comment