Hope To God You See My Face

Truly missed.

I miss the simple things like meeting my friends, miss the busy period and stress of being in a production, miss seeing those faces.
Yet, I'm thankful that my dad is still alive, that Allah put us through quite a bit of a challenge that we could overcome.
Being blessed is an understatement.

It's hard to put it out in words what I'm feeling.
I don't feel stressed, maybe just a little tired and also sad(?)

Is it alright for me to feel as such?





I mean why should I feel sad when my dad is recovering?
Other people are going through worse and at least I could still see my dad everyday.
Why should I feel tired of waking up early, get ready and be by my father's side daily till the end of visiting hour?
Other normal working/studying person has to wake up at subuh on a daily basis only to return near midnight even.
So why am I feeling as such?
Is it okay to not feel THAT okay?

Oh the power of social media and the art of sharing.
Every time I feel like posting something regarding my dad, I feel like 'let's not and for once, try not to tell people'.
It's weird.






Why does it have to feel this weird but it's weird.





Why feel this way when I could still see him everyday.
Why feel this way when I don't have any responsibility so I could take care of him everyday.
Why feel this way when I don't have to really be there too early and get home too late.
Why feel this way when I don't have to squeeze in public transport during the peak hours to get to the hospital.
Why feel this way when he is coming home soon.
Why feel this way ever when I'm having it all good.





Why bother.