Live your life, ♥

I had too many drafts that I never ended up publishing. Anyway, this year seems like a big year? Not like big in any way, but a progressive year for me. Found a job (have yet to start, will start in Monday or any time next week GAHH) and I am also an assistant project director for INTRO 2019! I know, I'm supposed to be out of school already, but maybe it's also a blessing in disguise. Like I really wanted to do this since years ago and finally, I'm being presented with this opportunity that I will not say no to. Funny though, I wasn't initially thought to be an APD but I guess Alhamdulillah I got promoted. Trying my best to give my best and to do my best for this show. It's terrifying. All these while, I've been watching from the other side, thinking "I'm glad it's not me because I don't think I can pull through" I know it's contradicting. Like one moment, I really want to be an APD and yet when I observe other people doing...

Truly missed. I miss the simple things like meeting my friends, miss the busy period and stress of being in a production, miss seeing those faces. Yet, I'm thankful that my dad is still alive, that Allah put us through quite a bit of a challenge that we could overcome. Being blessed is an understatement. It's hard to put it out in words what I'm feeling. I don't feel stressed, maybe just a little tired and also sad(?) Is it alright for me to feel as such? I mean why should I feel sad when my dad is recovering? Other people are going through worse and at least I could still see my dad everyday. Why should I feel tired of waking up early, get ready and be by my father's side daily till the end of visiting hour? Other normal working/studying person has to wake up at subuh on a daily basis only to return near midnight even. So why am I feeling as such? Is it okay to not feel THAT okay? Oh the power of social media and the art of sharing. Every tim...

Let's leave a mark here, 10 years of your life published for the world to see, Naj. May you never forget all the wonderful memories and let go of the past that left a scar on you. And when you're 32, come back here because knowing you, you will always love the past. Please don't leave me, even when I'm in my sixties.

When you look at yourself in the mirror, what do you see? I just spent the night watching The Danish Girl and The Theory Of Everything. Both movies were starring Eddie Redmayne as the main lead. I started to gain interest ever since Fantastic Beast. Well, I've first watched him in Les Miserables but he was just that guy with very freckled face to me. But he was pretty fantastic in Fantastic Beast. His ability to portray the shy but intelligent Newt Scamander has got me swoon. Then Sha told me that he was the guy who played a girl in The Danish Girl and I was just taken aback. All these while I thought that was Jennifer Garner and it was just another movie about sisterhood. Boy, was I wrong. So that's how I spent the night watching two of his movies. And I ended up with so much thought. How could a straight cis-gender male made those raw emotions so believable? And then still be amazing as a guy acting like he really lose control of his muscles?? Oh how I adore hi...

I haven't posted since forever. Anyway, just got back from Freshmen Bonding Camp by SIM MCMS. I'm just disappointed in myself that I had to leave early but I guess it's for the best. Best for me to recover, and that I wouldn't be a burden to my group members or the committee of fbc2k16. All I can say is that I feel so blessed. That the people there are really caring towards me. I kept thinking, why did I even feel this unwell? It's not the worst I ever felt but it's definitely not a good feeling. To be sick and then feel so weak when other people are losing sleep but they still take care of you. Anyway, on Friday, everything was fine. I had my breakfast and lunch with the kids, then dinner with the campers. I was alright, I could participate in the activities without a problem. So we had a game of tic-tac-toe and also a night walk after. Then we got to Masjid Taqua in the east, washed up and sleep. Eventually slept close to 2am. Didn't tak...

What day is it and in what month? Oh yes, it's already the 7th of April of 2016. By now, I have two more addition to my list of babies since my last post. And I've turned 22 plus I also went to Korea for the second time. Yes, alhamdulillah. My wish to be in Everland again was fulfilled! When I first started this blog, I was 12 and posting anything that I could. 10 years has passed and believe me, I've always wanted to post something at any chance I could get. The problem is now, there's either too much or nothing at all happening in my life. Yet, today, well recently, I've been getting all these flashbacks in my head and imaginations that made me think what the heck is wrong with me? Probably the month has come or probably it's just me. Sometimes, I can't even differentiate reality and my dreams. I have had dreams that felt so real, I think I've been to places I have never been to before. And these thoughts are making me a heck more emot...

Hi, I realised I left this blog to rot. And suddenly I looked back at photos on my Instagram and I realised, while I keep updating my other social media platform(and yes I reopened my twitter hahaha cos I couldn't help it plus now there's snapchat), this is the one place I should share my life story. Not that I have an interesting life but maybe just I should share any celebration of life right here. Because precious photos, we may lose it along the way so by placing it here, at least I'd know where to find it. So, here it is, born on the 25th of Aug, my very own sister's first newborn, NAYYIRAH AMIRA!!!!! It's amazing how Allah put so much strength in a mother. To have a mother to carry another weight for nine months, and when it's time, make her withstand the pain of contractions, then having her to push a body out from a small hole which then will tear to a bigger one to make way for the small body to exit, and lastly to stitch everything ba...