Live your life, ♥

As my usual tradition at the last few hours of the end of year, I tend to write about the year... So, 2014 Like every year, I wonder where the heck did the year disappeared to HAHAH! Well, for a start, it's been a year since I passed my driving! Which means, no need for P-plate anymore, though I would still want to use it because I'm not really a safe driver and I'm still scared of making turns. Second thing, all my siblings are married now. Hahah, who knew that in a year I could get two sibling-in-laws huh? It's still surreal that just in a blink, my eldest brother and my sister is somebody's husband and wife. (While I'm still not attached so I'm all alone HAHAHA) I went to Korea this year with my sister and her bestfriend, Kak Shahira! Amazing experience indeed! I really miss Everland cos of the fireworks! And I miss Seoul cos of their ice creams and churros! Ahhhh, really want to go back soon! I also went to Phuket with the family whic...

"do you ever just smell an old perfume, or hear an old song, or pass an old hangout spot and kinda break inside for a couple minutes?" I've been wanting to post something for the longest time, but whenever I get in the mood to do a write up, I'll end up reading other people's blog/tumblr and losing my mood to post. That mood of wanting to share. My. Feelings. That. Are. Mostly. Very. Emotional. For. No. Reason. Now that my mood is all set up in the right path, (with my low-spirited playlist that's all about unrequited love)(and I wonder why I always gets emotional at night with such playlist...) First up, *drum roll* SHUFIDAHKAHWIN! Yes, my sister is married. Alhamdulillah, albeit the little hiccup and suspense by the catering service on the Saturday, and the tiring end to clean up on the Sunday, everything went well. (SHOULD AVOID: SHAIK SABRI for his poor handling of situation when lodged a complain like as if he's the king, and all he know ...

Sometimes I don't get it, why am I getting very emotional. So many things are happening everyday to everyone. May He grant my wishes to give me the strength and ease this heart.

How about you pity me first?

Lately, I've been losing sleep, dreaming about the things that we could be. I don't know what has been bothering me lately. I'm constantly in a sudden state of sorrow? It's like, one moment I'm just enjoying life and then suddenly I'm thinking about whatever thoughts that makes me feel sad. Well to be honest, this is largely caused by watching full series of Malay romantic comedies. First was Sebenarnya Saya Isteri Dia, then it was Ku Cinta Kau Seorang and the latest one, which I spent the whole of yesterday watching was Love You Mr Arrogant. All of these stories mentioned above goes something like: both boy and girl were forced into marriage or relationship and they found a way to love each other even though they hated each other initially. And I'm just like sigh, with my sister getting married soon and my brothers are all married and me? I should just focus on school first lah okay...

I don't know. Was it not supposed to hurt? Was it not directed to me? I know it's the truth. But you shouldn't find it a need to tell other people? People you don't even know. Nobody even asked about me? And if they do, all you could say is that I'm taking this right now. There's no need to tell them a story. There's no need to tell them I was desperate. Yes, I'm desperate. Desperate to make you proud of me. And it's not working is it? But can't you see, I'm trying? I don't even want this piece of cert, but I'm doing this so that some day I could pay you back. Can't you see? I'm sorry if I couldn't make it to NUS. I should have been able to. Sorry I was such a disappointment.

Alhamdulillah, it's Ramadhan again. I'm not sure if I'm getting older and finally understood more about Islam or the world is just turning to a more beautiful place where Muslims know the importance of Ramadhan in Islam! (Alhamdulillah for the latter too if that's the case!) This year feels different. The fact that it rained so heavily in the morning, knowing it's our first day of fasting and that rain means the doors of mercy are opened, it really brought in the positive vibes for Ramadhan this year. And insyaAllah, I hope to benefit more from Ramadhan this year. Amin. May you have a blessed Ramadhan too.

I'm seriously itching to reopen my twitter account just because I want to be able to share how I feel at an instance. When I'm having a lot of feelings that need me to let it out, it's usually because I think I'm in love. No. I'm not in love. But I may have fallen for someone (and just like a few weeks ago, I was liking somebody else because he suddenly appeared in dream twice). I mean like what kind of a girl am I right now jezzzzz! And all these signs, all this falling just makes me impatient. Like is he the one or is it him? Haizz. Another day, another dream wasted on you. Anyway, I've been gone for awhile now. A lot has happened, believe me! Firstly, I turned 20 and had a very memorable celebrations with Pissy, Ami and DAHINAF! And I'm really thankful for all of them, and my family who were all present to celebrate my birthday with me, the wishes from my friends and everything. Then I went to Seoul around April with my sister and Ka...

I have no idea what to do with my life now. Should I take psychology? I mean if I could get in. Looking at the courses these private unis offer, I'm only interested in Psychology, Mass Comm and yeah, that's about it. I'm not interested in IT, I mean maybe I am but I don't think I can do it. What should I do? Bachelor in SIM or Advance diploma then bachelor in MDIS? They don't even have honours... My god, I'm so confused. And and and it's so pricey. Watching #MPGIS and I want to curse so badly. Will update on my life soon. Too many things happened. Great things!:)

Well, I've been gone for a long time. I thought that when I'm in the mood to create a new post, it would be about my birthday celebration and Atiqah's birthday celebration, and my results and everything that happened in between while I was not posting. But unfortunately, this post is another one along the line of death. A week and a few days ago I believe, I woke up to this news of a missing plane. MH370 a plane from KL to Beijing which departed around midnight, was suddenly left without a trace. I've never invested myself in this issue. Maybe for a few days, yes, but as time passed, I didn't have any hope because I wasn't involved at all. But a few hours ago, the statement was released that it has in fact has crashed and they are somewhere in the sea of the Indian Ocean. It didn't really hit me till I saw an Instagram picture of how deep the sea in. One thing about me, I may be an aquarian but water is my biggest fear. And I started imag...

There's always that day in the month when you are experiencing your lowest point, people have to put you down even further.

Well, I'm supposed to post about my birthday. I still remember what happened but it's just that to put it in words, it's quite a challenge for me. But I'll do all that later. Let's talk about today. It's the 3rd of March. It's my parents' 35th anniversary! Unfortunately, it's also the day I get my results for the second time. Deeeeeeep in my heart and soul, I know what my results will be like. But I'm really hoping that it wouldn't be that way? Like a strange miracle will happen and my results won't be that bad as I think it would. Hmmmmmm.

I don't know what song to quote today cos I haven't been listening to any for the past few days. SO ANYWAY... It's the one week countdown to 9 FEBRUARY! Hehehehehe. I mean, in my opinion, turning 20 is a huge thing! The celebration should be bigger than turning 21. It's like living for 2 decades, and you've reached that pre-adulthood. I mean, cos for some reason 21 is the real adult age and only then you can be responsible for things. Hmm, I don't know if that's a good thing or not. On one hand, I'm so pissed that I can't authorise the collection of certain stuff and I have to depend on other older people. On the other, (well this mostly talks about the law so yeah...skip) Back to the countdown, I was thinking I should probably countdown the top 20 something of my life. Then I couldn't decide on what should I rank. The most exciting things? The biggest achievements (like as if I have 20 of them...) ? Top 20 dreams? Or even ranki...

Hi, this is long overdue, just like everything that I actually have to do HA HA. Lately, I've been losing inspiration. Like I want to do something creative but I couldn't get anything out. For example, a blogskin. Doing a blogskin used to be a pretty big deal for me. Like I would want something that expresses me. And I think I've been having difficulty in expressing myself. Omg is it because I used to use all these emo stuff as an inspiration? Or something I'm obsessed with. And now, I'm just like *YAWNS* "Next!" kind of thing. Probably used up all the ideas I had and now everything seems a little cliché for me. Well, I kind of vowed to myself that I'll change this blogskin soon. HA WHO CARES! In other news, I really would like to own the rainbow Quran with translation! I've recently been helping my friends with the Muslim Society's projects. Well, wait there's a story to it! So I've decided to help out ...

So I don't know when, but I suddenly thought of watching all the story of Disney's Princesses. I've never actually watched any of them, except for Mulan, like not even Aladdin even though it's been on air so many times. Well, it started out with Frozen , which made me cry just 10 minutes into the movie! And then twice after, oh my, the movie is just so heart warming. And I never thought the actual villain in the movie was Prince Hans! I thought Kristoff was meant for Elsa until Anna met Christo and then I thought Anna would be with Kristoff and Elsa would get Hans but Elsa didn't have a prince or king but ahhhh just a wonderful story! So I thought I should go down the line of princesses.. Then I watched Brave . Hmm, Merida was alright, I got a review from my friends that out of the 3 latest Disney princess movies, Brave is the lowest. I supposed that is because of the fact that there's no Prince or any good looking male characters. I was just wa...

Sooooo, I had another interesting day of the year! In a summary, I feel like I had breakfast with Atq, lunch with Ami, tea break with DINAF and dinner with Nana. It's really awesome, like to end the day knowing you've interacted with most of your closest friends. And Ayah bought egg prata for breakfast at last! Had a yummy breakfast then pretty much chatted with Atq until Ahmad Zaki came. Took care of my baby till he sleeps, so happy to see him happy to see me HEHEH! Then Ami randomly asked me if I'm free for lunch, I was going out anyway so we met at Wendy's! Even though it was just for awhile, every minute was enjoyable! Talked about education and life and WHY MUST THEY KEEP BUILDING ON ANY EMPTY SPACES LIKE LET US BREATHE MAN PLEASE! Well, that was one bummer, I feel so...angry. Don't you ever feel constricted, crammed and somehow choke by all this buildings around Singapore? Anyway, after that we parted ways and then I met Mira to go for the ...

I've been putting this off and I'm supposed to talk about the most meaningful 2nd Jan ever. Urrrrrr I think it's the thought of uploading photos that makes this post so difficult to develop. Never a fan of uploading photos unless it's fast and doesn't have a whole lot of meaning to it that I need to explain about it. I mean I know it's my choice to explain it or not and people don't even read my blog HAHAHAH OMG STOP TALKING! Wait let me try this Alright babe, So on the 2nd of January, it was a big day for my babies, particularly 2 of the oldest. IT WAS THEIR FIRST DAY IN A NEW SCHOOL! Aniyah was entering the world of Primary education, the place where you understand the meaning of friends, the place where you get first crushes, the place where you know more about life, the place where you learn most of the things about humans and grow up. It's all touching but there's a subtle feeling of departure too. It's like as if it was ye...