A Little Bit Longer

Using my time wisely now to blog.
Well, it's a remedy.
I don't feel emotionally well.

I've been feeling rather numb lately.
Oh, numb is not the word.
Numb means to feel nothing.
Yet, I'm feeling something but I don't know what is it.
It's painful.
Just in between sad and anger.
Maybe hurt?



Sigh.
What a joy.
I'm so emo.
I hate me.

Contradicting isn't it?
To love but to hate.
To feel happy but feel the pain too.

I'm unarmed,
My world torn apart.
I don't even know what happened.

I'm staring at you and I don't know what to do.
I'm staring into blank space hoping something would cheer me up.
Nothing.
I'm just not thankful enough.
Sucker.

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Could Have Been A Princess, You'd Be The King

Image
They say you don’t get over someone until you find someone or something better. As humans, we don’t deal well with emptiness. Any empty space must be filled. Immediately. The pain of emptiness is too strong. It compels the victim to fill that place. A single moment with that empty spot causes excruciating pain. That’s why we run from distraction to distraction—and from attachment to attachment. -Yasmin Mogahed So it's been 2 days since I got back from China. And let me just say I already miss it very much. Not that I don't like being here. I just miss having to meet people every morning till we go back to our own room in the evening. I miss having things to do, like there's a different plan for every single day. I miss having the breeze and fighting the cold, putting my hands in the pockets to keep me warm. I miss not having to care about messing up the bed because there's always someone to help me clean up. I miss feeling the excitement of a new day because t...
Read more
AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! (In and out. In and out) [For some reasons, I felt some anger in me(?)] Flashback to yesterday. Shucks! I can remember. Wait. OH YES! Halima quietly came up behind Amirah and me to shock us. Malay was ok. We laughed a lot. Lols. Only people in the group knows. &saw a __ bird. Black and yellow in colour making noises. I got a hit slightly at the head and arms and my thighs. It hurts ok! A full bottle of NEWater by Wesley like what have I done to injure him? Urghs. Today, missed my bus I think. Jazz was fun. Danced to Britney Spears' Piece of Me. It's like a classroom scene. Lols. Right after Jazz was P.E. We were already tired from the quick squats and fast movements, and we had to run 2 rounds around the school. Amirah and I went to search for available toilets like at the third floor but it was locked? Like why???? In the end we went to the second floor toilet and went to meet MdmMah with Jayne. It was English. Just like the usual day. But if I heard it ...
Read more

What Did I Want To Be

A lot about life has changed now. I used to remember a lot of stuff, get more creative to design stuff, be more enthusiastic to make something new, something I knew people could appreciate. Now, I'm just like one sad lifeless soul, getting moody from time to time,bored so easily with what I do, no motivation or excitement to do what I was passionate in before. You can thank the 10 years of education for that. They just reap me off my mood, my belief, my passion, my everything. I get more and more forgetful these days, often mad at myself for not getting something right, mad with the world cause I can't get what I want, blaming everything on the ever-aching stomach. I just want to put a stop to this and get back the old me. The me I used to know in 2008, being happy for people, only expressing my feelings with you, then tries to be fine again. The me I used to know, knows how to laugh at the lamest joke comedians made. The me I used to know love to do web-designing, write my hea...
Read more