Live your life, ♥

Imagine this is a vlog. Hahahah. Okay crap. So, 2012 is finally coming to an end and in 1 hour time, we'll be in 2013! Well, 2012 has been quite a year. It started off okay, then it went to being bad, after that it was great, then it was back to okay and bad before it became quite awesome! Heheh. I shall not talk about my family because throughout, my family has been the back bone of my happiness. Understanding me, with each of my siblings giving me the "talk". Hahaha. To list down what I appreciate is too much. Hehs, so top 3 of this year.. So firstly, PISSYCATDOLLS So, we actually got closer since the Beijing trip. Hahah, thank you girls for helping me get through Malay class and our motivating times in whatsapp hahahah. They are all crazy, I tell you. And it's like whenever I'm with them, I'll just smile like one idiot even when they are not saying anything! Alhamdulillah for friends like this, through emotional times, through cr...

And so after 365 days, we've finally reached the eve of the new year. Before I wrap up the year, let's reminisce on the past few days of Dec. So I've really and truly enjoyed my post As. Hahaha. Well, as soon as the December started, I was off for a 3 days DAY camp. Then, I had my prom at the the same place, wearing the same thing, and the only difference was the company I was with. LOL. The next day, I went out with my S13 clique before they all got busy. (no photo :[ ) Plus, ZPN. And you already knew that. So the week after, I went to Krabi for my holiday! It was so freaking awesome! Loved the service there and all of them were so polite to us! Snorkeling, caving, boat being towed, riding the elephant. I love Krabi seriously! And I will never forget this, but I was chased by a two dogs! The stupid thing was, I ran. And that's why the dogs chased me and I almost got bitten. Shouting "HELP ME PLEASE HELP ME PLEASE~~~!" Nasib ta...

It's amazing how maybe this is what I feel. My insecurities. Alike.

I don't know why I'm getting emotional right now (Okay, I'm always emotional and sensitive and cries a lot etc.) but it's really weird that all I want to do is to cry and let all these emotions inside of me go away. When I'm feeling like this, it was because I was stressed, I missed some people too much or it's about some guy who I had a crush on and I'm seeing him flirting the girl he likes. Now, I don't think I'm feeling that but probably, the situation is still the same? Because this involves another friend who's going through the emotions I felt when I saw the guy I'm crushing on having fun with another girl. And really, all I want is to help her but I don't know how. Well, I'm kind of stuck in the middle because I know the other girl and all I'm afraid of is that the other girl feels the same way too for the guy then what am I supposed to do? All hail love triangle please for bringing problems to our lives~ ...

Today, I came across a thread as I searching for answers to "What will I do after this if I don't get into local uni?" This lady had ACC, not sure for the H1 subject, but an E for GP. Instead of giving constructive advices, the replies she got was "YOU SHOULD HAVE PLANNED" , "WHATEVER YOUR LIFE IS, YOU FAILED TO PLAN" And that had me thinking, who, really really planned their life? I mean sure some people (very oddly) work towards their goal in life. But for most of us, we don't have a plan. Maybe it's just me, I'm the type who goes with the flow. I never knew what I wanted to be, I mean since young (till now actually) all I want is to perform. Knowing that can't happen for me, I thought maybe I could just be a teacher. Then, when I was Sec 3, I observed how we all had night study and how our teachers have to stay back for us, some didn't even get married, and I realised, that's not what I want to be! And I don'...

So, I'm really sleepy now. Yet, before I forget everything about this week, I thought maybe I should blog about it. Well, I've been having such an awesome and hectic week post A's. From Monday till Wednesday, I went for KSJ Annual Training Camp. It felt great to be back! I thought I was over SJAB, that I didn't want to help out anymore. Yet, when I was there, somehow I found the reason why I've been staying. It's because of the friends I've made and how eventually, when we're working towards the same goal, we're like a family. It may sound a little cliche and maybe fake but in all honesty, this is how I really feel. When I came back, to see how we all want to win and how we, as seniors, see there are things we should do to shape the juniors, I fell in love with KSJ again. There are many things we have to do, many efforts we have to put in, and just like old times, I'm willing to commit once again. I may get backlashed by my family. ...

My favourite act: The end: So as I watched the final scene where they sang to Brotherhood of Man, I can't help but to feel emotional and well, I just want to cry... Don't get me wrong, the musical is not at all sad but pardon me may I ask, WHY IS DARREN CRISS SO FAR AWAY! He's an all-rounder. He can act, sing, dance(totally bonus plus plus point) and he's just almost perfect. I mean minus the part about him being too vulgar, yes he is, I just wish some place, somewhere in Singapore, there's a person who looks just like him, have all his talents, and yes, that's the perfect guy for me. Hahahahaha. Sigh, I just love him so much and he's not even real. I mean he is real as he a human but just that he's on the other side of the world. And I could only imagine. The way he sings, the way he dances, isn't he just amazing? But like Nelly said, it is only just a dream . Sigh. Welcome to my life.

This boy will be such a heartbreaker! You know how people will somehow say that phrase to a cute baby, especially a boy. Well, nobody thought of that as a prayer and it would actually come true. Nobody foresee that he would actually break so many hearts as he grows up. But then again, who are we to blame. It's always unfortunate to see girls posting something tragic and emotional like how they just can't seem to get over a guy who once were a part of their life. Sometimes, the guys just seemed so heartless that they move on too quickly or just break all ties with the girl. And us as girls, just have a heart too weak, too emotional, too loving to let it go so easily. I mean, it is a phase in life. It is something that everyone would go through. It is a point in life that we learn who we are. It is a point in life that we learn to be stronger. Strong enough to forgive, strong enough to forget, strong enough to let go. But then who am I to say? I'm only in my ...

And so my A Level is finally over. I mean soon to be. Left with my MCQ papers. So yeah. And well, my dream won't come true. So I watched Pitch Perfect with LJH yesterday after our papers! :))) It was awesomeeeeee! And up till now I'm still singing Titanium in my head because the Becca character sang it enchantingly while in the shower. Ahhhhhh. Definitely a great movie and really glad we watched that instead of Skyfall. Hahahah, I'm totally not into James Bond seriously. So that was yesterday. And now, I'm constantly hopping from one search to another, one page to another, one site to another in an attempt to find a dress for prom. Haizz. I mean, even though they forced us to go and made me hate the school so much but then eventually I get to sit with awesome people and Lava is going (YAY!).... I'M ACTUALLY EXCITED TO GO FOR PROM AT THE SAME PLACE AGAIN~! HOORAY FOR ME! But, (there's always a but) I really don't know what I'm ...

Yet another post. Oh well, today I will talk about concerts. Wouldn't it be just lovely to own loads of money so I could attend any concert I want regardless of the place and time? Well of course the time matters too but if I could attend it but the only thing that stops me from attending that main event is money, it sucks doesn't it? I haven't been to a concert before (and by concert I mean with those singers singing to the soundtrack you know the lyrics too, jumping around, having fun with the other fans and making new friends etc....) And I would really really want to go one. And you see, The Script is coming to Singapore in March 2013 and I was wondering, should I go? I mean I remember Taylor Swift came to Singapore last year on my birthday and it killed to think that maybe I should have gone with my twin or something and we could have the most awesome 17th ever. But I didn't want to waste my dad's money so I let it go. Then The Wanted came and it was...

I couldn't be any happier for now! Well, it was Michael Weisman's birthday on the 11th of November and being a fan of him ever since The Glee Project Season 2, I decided to wish him on the tumblr. My wish got on page 2 and somebody reblog it on Tumblr, I'm pretty sure he saw mine. HAHAHAHAHAH! Sorry, I'm totally fangirling right now but I can't help it! MICHAEL WEISMAN IS FREAKING AWESOME! And he's 19 awwwwwwwww. Gosh, why don't you study in Singapore Michael? WHY? And I've been imagining myself getting on Glee Project. I would literally die competing with Michael and especially in Romaticality week... Michael Weisman and DARREN CRISS AS THE MENTOR ASDFGHJKL! I don't think I could even perform cos I would be shaking in my boots. Like Mario said, "To be saying that I'm shaking in my boots would be a complete understatement." LOL! AHHHHHH IM SO EXCITED AND I DONT EVEN KNOW WHY. Just regret not writing "Love...

So, I just wrote a poem at 2.25 am today, when I could have written an essay for my gp, malay or something (because it's bloody hell 15 days away...), which could explain why I'm feeling so bothered today. Nope, not bothered because of my A's is coming. I mean, I'm bothered by that every single day but actually, I'm also bothered by... the end of A's. While 28th November brings about a joyous occasion for me and most of my friends because we have finally freed ourselves from the torturous journey, I bet it will also give me the slightest tinge of happiness and a whole lot of sadness. It's like I can foresee myself, thinking about my future: How will I spend the next 3 months? Still in contact with my friends? Busy working? Or just lazing around alone with a silent phone (not because it's on silent mode)? I'm already pondering about it now and worrying so much that I may lose my best friends over the break and then just lose them forever. ...

So it's passed 12 already, making it 23rd of September.... Well, wanted to post about the 22nd of September actualy on the 22nd but well yeah, time just don't permit. So anyway, I really had an awesome up-and-down day on the 22nd! Okay, here's a full story~! (It's gonna be long and well yeah, I may include explicit details but I'm not bragging or anything, I'm just really glad I've survived and everything turned out successfully :D) (Plus, I want to remember every single detail cos it's just too awesome!) It started on a Friday, 21st when I had my last prelim paper on that day. So since out of the 7 of us, only Firzanah wasn't in school, it was a perfect chance to plan for the big day. Of course, with the help of the excited Hanz who wasn't even attending the picnic, we made a few decisions and eventually went home at 12 noon even though we all ended at 9am. Then apparently, just my luck, I felt lethargic and had the symptoms of fal...

So, first of all, I would like to wish this special girl, who goes by the name of AMIRAH MOHAMED YAMIN, a very HAPPY BIRTHDAY !!! So it's like 6 years eh since I first got to know you! Hahaha, I tell you, if never be cute and ask for my number(aiseh sounds wrong but true story), I would never get to know how wonderful you are really and it's awesome to have a friend like you! So, on this very special day of yours (I know it's ending soon but hey, you turn 18 in a day but you stay 18 for a year!), do be happy and have a great time. May you have a blessed and blissful 18th year ahead and do enjoy it will you can cos babe we only got less than 2 years before we get and feel old :( Oh, but you can't be sad cos it's a happy day so don't be sad okay. Hope to see you soon! :D ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ So if I wrote first of all, I must have more than one point to this post right? Oh right, I don't hehehe. Okay, prelims suck and I'm not rea...

Hello. Firstly, Selamat Hari Raya Aidilfitri to all muslims out there. Sorry this post came a bit late. Had been busy with the raya outings and serving guests and yeah, school is still on for another week before the September break and then prelims. Ahh, stress. Must really get it right this time. C for GP (though I think it's impossible, at least a D?), C for Physics or even a B, pass my Chemistry for the first time ever or else I'm screwed and will fail my Chem A's, get a good passing grade for Mathematics after so long and get a B or A for Malay and Literature. 2 weeks left to get all this in my head and finally prove to myself that I still have hope to get somewhere in life. My dad had it planned out for me. If I can't get into NUS, I shall try NTU and if not, hello Malaysia Uni for me. HAHAHAhahahah. No please, I don't want to be away from my family. Even though I'm getting to the big 2 soon, I mean reaching 20, I still fe...

Hello! Well, I said that I didn't want to post anything till raya or anything but hey, today is really a SPECIAL DAY! Although I still have PQ, AQ, and many other things to do and despite Mr Dennis Yeo's talk today about sacrifice, I definitely have to blog about today! Number 1 being that I got a new niece! Her name is Nur Qaisarah Alisha Well, I haven't met her yet(I hope I will soon!) because I had my long-awaited MCS FAREWELL ~!!!!! It started out a bit late because some of us had listening compre(which I had to stone/sleep for half-an-hour before in the room before the paper actually starts) And yes it was UH-MAZIIIIIING! With all those announcements, fasten your seat belts all, so cute! And I like the games and I love the group I was put in! SHUFFLERS~❤ Especially the dance dare~~ Hahahah. Although I could say it was a bit fail ahahahahah, like we couldn't have this continuous strikes but it's alright! They also had these sweet notes for...

I've been wanting to blog for a long time ever since my last post but I just don't know how to start. Hence, the intro. Haaaaaah. Something is definitely bothering me. You know, those days when I really want to tell the web how I feel but I just can't put it in real words? Well, maybe I could but I just don't want to? Why wouldn't I want to if it's bothering me so much? Haizz, what are all these questions? I don't even know what I'm blabbering about. Maybe just the thought of.. Haizz never mind. A level is 16 weeks away. I guess I better start focussing now and forget about the real future. Much of irony into it but sigh it's okay. If I get good results that will put me through the university, I will get a good future. And now, just lead life as per normal. It's the last lap of the race. Nobody's waiting for you. Everyone is on their own. And I'm looking through the uni courses available. Hmm...

I have a confession..... Don't you just miss that? Primary school days when we were just brave enough to tell the people we adore how we feel about them? Hahaha. Something that's non-existent in this age. Hmm. Anyway, sexuality education yesterday was great. I totally didn't expect that. I thought that it would be the normal ABC things that they will usually remind us of. However, yesterday's class was a little different because finally, they chose to teach us something that we all have thoughts about: Finding the 'one' The instructors that my class got was a romantic couple that didn't expose their identity as a married couple until the closing with a touching story that made the girls cry. It was totally like awwwwwwwwwwww moment when he was saying that "I chose to tell the truth despite the risk of losing her..." and then he goes "...why not let her share..." and he took his wife which was the woman instructo...

Salam Nisfu Syaaban to all Muslims out there :) And it's raining tonight ;) Alhamdulillah! Anyway, today has been awesome! I mean apart from the horrendous paper in the morning... The after-mye affair was unforgettable! Well, today is my "love" birthday. Hahahaha. I mean Lav. No, I mean L? Hahahah, kidding it's Lavaneswari! So actually had a slight glitch because Lava actually went to the Cafe so Hanz and Jean couldn't take the cake. Hahaha. Thank goodness for Nazira and Visha who could lure her away! And so the class successfully smashed Lava's face with whipped cream. Hahahah epic moment, was wondering if Lava was on her way here and they already smashed her face! So in the end she smelled like batter, milk with flour. Yummy! Hahaha, I'm not joking. She reminded me of the times when I'm baking something. Hmmmm. It was a good class gathering. :) And so, since we were already done with MYE, we didn't know what to do. ...

I have so many dreams, I don't know why I'm just afraid to go after it. Maybe I'm afraid of rejections? Yes, I am afraid of rejections. I could give you the world but you can only get them if you want to take it from my hand. I think I'll be the only to get what I'm saying but it doesn't matter lah cos no one's reading anyway... Just hope you can feel what I felt too. That I really meant it when I say I miss you. I miss life with you, bestie. Why did we ever had to grow up and go our own ways. Anyway, Happy belated birthday! I just hope I could get all these gifts to you (: Love you, XOXO

4:30-4:55 THIS Have been watching Darren Criss' Starkid Productions on Youtube for the past few days. It started with A Very Potter Musical then to A Very Potter Sequel and I've just watched Me and My Dick . Well, it's an adult theatre production so the language could be quite crude. I mean, it's theatre and you have be open minded with this kind of things. Hmm, I wish I was allowed to be in that line. It's nothing about being popular or well liked to be a part of a theatre production. It's more about how it makes me feel happy and satisfied. I mean, whenever a celebrity just says " I'm doing this for all my fans out there " and a normal person's reaction would be just like whattttttttever . Yet, watching this theatre production, shows like Glee, it very much reminded me of being a part of Minah & Linah. Well, it's a long and tedious process but the outcome of it, fulfilment. There's a sense of joy being able to per...

Hey Ho~ I'm currently addicted to Junior Doctor's "Uh Oh"! You must watch the video, notice the cute drummer please! I've been replaying that for days. Oh gosh! Hahah. And now I'm sick. Down with cough and flu after "Khazanah & Warisan" Yeah, "Khazanah & Warisan", my last ever project in MCS. Seriously, seriously, the last one ever. Hehs. So it was on Tuesday, we only had 4 days to rehearse. Which, I only came for 1 day because I had to balik kampung on Saturday. :D So, it was the shortest time ever for a performance for a respectable crowd~ "Kita punya pilihan, memilih jalan sendiri..." So I went to Malacca because my cousin got married! Aww, she's a wife already. Not too long ago, we used to little and play around kampung like little kids do. How time flies~ Oh yes, slept at King's Hotel with sister-in-laws, fully paid by big brother! Played with the babies~ They were so adorable! Then had my Malay paper on Mon...

Hello. I'm awake at 2.50am on a school day because 1. I haven't complete my assignments 2. I need to study for GP 3. I just had a nightmare Just experienced sleep paralysis. At least, I thought it was. Well, what made me terrified was that I was actually dreaming about her. Yes, GP, her. And she was going on and on like she always do in class so I tried to escape from that. I ended up getting sleep paralysis, a state at which I'm aware of my surroundings but I couldn't move. And worst of it all? I could still hear her voice in my head. That was freaky. Totally. So now that I'm awake, I'm eating at this godly hour. Well, because I'm hungry (duh) Hmm, I'm slacking for all my tutorials. Now that Elemental is finally over, to which I have to say was an awesome closing to my dance career, well, I couldn't say my last performance was my best one because I did several mistakes but who cares about that, I really love MCS and that ...

Hello~ So yesterday I went to watch THE AVENGERS with Diyanah, Firzanah and Haris! Can I just say how hot Chris Evans is? Come on, Captain America is oh so stunning! Even though to me Captain America is like useless besides the fact that he has that boomerang shield, muscles and leadership skills, what's left of him? Okay, at least he's hot so yup, I shall keep quiet. Oh, I was also waiting for Hulk to appear throughout the whole movie. I mean, I don't really know what's Hulk strength is besides being indestructibly strong but he's green so yeah! And I didn't know that the doctor was actually Hulk. Lol. Seriously, if you want to watch a combined superhero movie like this, you better know the superhero well. It's like watching X-Men and not knowing who's in the X-Men. You'll just feel lost throughout the movie. Hehs. Macam faham... So that's all to my Saturday. The last Saturday before Elemental. My heart literally beats fas...

Heyyyy! So my journey in MCS drama finally has come to an end with the performance of the 2 months long "Minah & Linah - Kisah Subar Laut dan Subar Darat" held at Siglap South CC last Thursday. Well, had a birthday celebration in the morning break for Charmaine, Hanzalah and Jeannette. Fruit cake yums! :D After that was a half an hour practical lesson for Hanz and me. Then it was rush hour for us to the bus. Well, on the way back to the cupboard, the keys slipped off my hand and slid across and into a drain . T.T What a timing! Called Mr Kwok for help, hahaha, but the drain was stuck. Had to go without the keys and off to Siglap South CC. Hopefully they've retrieved the keys for us. If not, aiyayai~ So practised my lines with my "daughters" till we reached the place. Checked the props, costumes, lunch. Went shopping with Liana and Cikgu. Hahaha, irritating much. Back from lunch, had full dry run. Vocals and all. Next was make up! Had to be old so Abang Syuk ...

Hey, life pretty much sucks right now. Just because of a game of truth. I hurt a friend. And I don't even know if we're okay. So we're on awkward terms. More awkward, cold treatment. I wish I could take it back. But what else can I do. At that moment, I feel like I should just let you know everything. Bad idea, Naj. ): So got scolded during GP. Well, I was the spark to her anger because she thought I was sleeping. So she slammed her laptop and all, saying we're all lazy. Saying that I don't even care about GP, that I always sleep in her class. When she always assuming that I'm sleepy. But did felt guilty too. When my mind was supposed to be on GP, my mind was wandering off. Thinking about this friendship. And I cried in school. Thinking about everything that was happening. The fear of losing a friend completely. Hoping that I could talk to you. Hoping that we could be normal again. I'm just hoping. I know you're not looking...

Hey, it's Saturday night so I'm home alone~ Suppose to be studying but I'm just too tired. Good ah Naj, keep up with this. So had dance today. Cheography is still on-going and yeah, I just hope that we could make Cikgu Azmi proud. Our dance, I believe is not up to the standard that people should pay to watch us. Hmm. JIAYOU MCS! WE CAN DO THIS! After dance, went to lunch with the usuals. It was much much quieter without Iffa. HAHAHA! We could just imagine how she would react at certain moment. LOL! Then played true or dare round 2. Did food dares and played a round table truth. Main question: 5 things you want to do It was tough to come up with 5. And it got me thinking, what are 5 things I want to before I reach 27? 1. Get a rich husband (because I want to be a housewife and have kids by 27 like my sister-in-law) 2. Be in a career that I enjoy doing 3. Have a fairytale like wedding 4. Travel around to Europe or somewhere far with my family 5....