Live your life, ♥

2010 will be over in (24-5.48) hours time. I mean, it's not over till it's countdown right? So here's what I really don't understand. Why are people claiming 30th Dec the last day of 2010? Why are people already saying hello to 1st Jan on 31st Dec? Did I just miss the countdown or my clock is not right? WE ARE STILL IN 2010 PEOPLE! DON'T GET TOO EXCITED! Lol. So, as usual, people comes up with new year resolutions before new year. Reflections before new year. Everything, at the very last minute. Hahah. Okay, I shall do that too :P FIRSTLY, As for this year, I started off with this 16 things I wanted to achieve or have by 2010. Get through internal FAC. Of course, we all got through that phase! Get into FAC with NC1. Well, we still got our golds and I'm thankful to my babies for that! Distiction for Prelims. Prelims was the worst ever thing that happened, hopefully, O's WON'T BE THE SAME! An awesome blogskin. Win best CPR award. Got the best Home Nu...

HOLLA! Yes, I've been back since Tuesday morning. So, let's play recap shall we?! 25 December The original plan was to leave the house at 11am. Macam betul je planning...~ Lol. We went out at 6pm instead! Well, the ride was fast! We stopped at Pagoh around 9pm for dinner. Reached kampong at 10pm. Fast isn't it? After setting out, went to Nek Che's house. Listen to all the stories. My father was hilarious! He told Nek Che that my mum have a farm! Well, it's just farmville. It was so funny! My father even had his serious face on! Oh, when my mum said something about being sleepy, Nek Che thought she wanted to bathe! Hahah, so far away lah. It was a great night. Stayed until 1am. Kak Nor asked sister and I if we wanted to sleep at Along's house. So went to Along's house. Atif was so active at night! There was once, he climbed over the car seat(7-seater) from the back row all the way to the front because he wanted to follow Along. Well, Along already went out so...

HIIII! Cute right? LOL. I made myself laugh! :D Gonna leave Singapore for awhile. Hope I'll enjoy my time in Malaysia. Coming back in two days or three. Depends. Once I'm back, Qaisarahs will be mine! I miss both of those kids so much! Those Bambams. :D

Hey. I'm feeling,......I don't know what. Have been having this type of emo-then-happy-then-sad feeling ever since I came back from camp. I don't even know what's my real problem is. :/ Leaving Singapore tomorrow, going back to father's original hometown. I can't wait. Can't wait to leave all the stuff here for awhile. Looking at the beautiful geographical world, take a breather. Hopefully, I can still come down for the BBQ. There's still hope, really. Might be back on Monday or Tuesday. Let's hope it will be Monday. Then I'll have no more plans, just awaiting for results. After that, see how life will turn for me. I don't know what is happening to me. Just hope that all the crazy emotions will go away and I'll be happier soon. Maybe, this is just my holiday mood. Which means, I'm sad and bored.

I went to training today, after a longgggggggggggg time! NC1, NC4, AC1 and AC2 were there. I really had a good laugh with the guys team. I don't think I can set a case with them. I will always laugh like crazy. Jacky was like totally hilarious. Saw how he got so 'nervous' and laughed when checking AVPU. LOL! Then, ended at 4.50pm. Alright, nothing much to say. Gonna leave Singapore until Monday? Might be able to come for bbq~ YEAH! Hopefully :D

I love this song! Well, put aside that both are men. Chris Colfer's voice is awesome. Like putting a little edge to a nice woman's voice. Hence, this song is stuck in my head for Christmas. Oh no no no (quoted from The Little Rascals ) Explained all.

I haven't blog much these days. Reason? I really don't have anything to blog about. Another day is just like the day before. Slacking around, watching or not watching tv, updating status, surfing the net. Nope, I'm not that dead bored yet. Have to enjoy this time very much because it will end in 4 weeks time. Talking about 4 weeks, I'm scared, terrified, horrified, out of my mind for the results. I'm just really afraid of what I might get. What if I don't pass L1? What if I don't pass combined humanities? What if my L1R5 is more than 20? Yes, now I'm going through all the what ifs. I hope none of the what ifs come true. If it does, you'll see me in the hospital. (: Talking about hospital, we still haven't collect money from hq. HAHAH! Nahh, I'm too lazy to go hq just to collect $15. I'll donate it back to hq okay. Since we are a voluntary organisation and don't receive money from government, So, better donate on 29 Dec, SJAB's fla...

This post is two days late. And this will be a happy post. :D 15 DEC Woke up early for the news. Then after everyone left the house, got ready for the later part. Rushed. Met up with Halima. Was late for the meeting. LOL! Car ride was awesome. HAHAH! It was so weird. We reached Cikgu's house. Walked, sat, discussed. And I thought the discussion would be long. In the end, it lasted for about half-an-hour only. LOL. Then trained to meeting place. Was early so had brunch alone. The KFC boy was bored I can tell. Hahah. He made the KFC like his own place, talking to his peer loudly so everyone who knows Malay could hear. Then he was extra friendly and helpful. In one way it was good, maybe he just wants to be employee of the month. In another, it was getting up to my nerves. It was kind of annoying to watch him. Cannot eat in peace~ Walked around the mall. Kept visitting the toilet. HAHAH! I think I visitted it like 4 times. I went in there to pack my bag. LOL! Soon after that, met up w...

Today is my brother's birthday. So, Happy Birthday Abg Iwan! Well, later, will have a meeting. Then after that, an outing. Hope it will be awesome. For now, I just don't know. My 4-month old cousin just passed away this morning. Well, she's in Batam so my mum and sister went there with my uncle. I feel so bad for not going. I feel horrible. Ain't she cute? Her name is Ratna Az Zahra. I haven't even met her yet. Now she's gone. I feel horrible as I won't be able to meet her in person ever. So many things happening today. There's the UG meeting, Corps own training, meeting for gathering, outing. I feel guilty having fun while I know my uncle and aunt is suffering. I should be there to cheer my 6-year old cousin who had just lost her sister. Instead. I'm making myself feel worse. I'm such a horrible person. Period.

I'm out of ideas. I don't know what to do. People can't make it. I'm stressed out. No wonder my profile picture shows a candy smiley. Maybe time knew that I'm not going to smile much anymore these days. Wednesday is coming soon. I'm dying. Other people wanted an outing. Then pushed all the plannings to me. They don't even lend a helping hand. Now after everything is done, they may not be coming. Maybe it's karma. I don't know what to do anymore. I guess I'm stuck. Just gonna forget this outing for awhile and be happy a little while more. Oh yeah. Cikgu asked me to be one of his planner. Then I realised that I can't even attend his gathering. What a sad story.

I'd like to think that all the bad mood is due to PMS. Yet, it's not good to blame PMS all the time. I don't know what's wrong with me. Times like this, I feel so screwed, lonely, like the whole world is against me. No, let me correct that. Like I'm against the world. I just get mad, moody, angry. It's all negative. What if the outing turns out to be a failure? I can't do this alone. I need cooperation. Why must you work? We're only 16. Can't you work next year? I'm so lost. I don't know what to do. I don't even know if I should go on with this. But I can't disappoint others. Please don't back out anymore. I can't handle this. I'm weak. I can't do this all by myself. Can't you see? I'm falling. Prove me wrong. 3 more days. I'm scared. And outings are supposed to be fun. Unlikely to be this situation. ):

Had a great day at Sentosa today! Visited Universal Studios (for photos only) and I especially love the candy shop! Then ate. Took a ride on the luge! Plus the Skyride. Hahah. I was hyperventilating on the skyride. Especially when it stopped. Scary all the way top! Hahah, I'm going to be stressed again. Outing, outing. Don't fail me. ):

Went to Pahang for camp again from 4th-7th Dec. It's gonna be lengthy cos all the photos are in Facebook and ruined. DAY 1 Parents sent to school. Admin stuff settled and headed to customs around 7am. NCOs took the van! Special mah. :D So day 1 was mostly the ride to Pahang. HAHAH! Cannot sleep, so difficult to find the right position to sleep in the van. Invaded the bus during one of the stops. Reached the cave around 5.30pm. (AT LAST!) Bunked in. Had dinner and helped Group 4 with their cheers. Then had campfire after dinner. GROUP 6! Hahah, most hyper of all. Consist of the NCOs and Officers. The campfire started out with a "How low can you go" game. Sabo-ed YZ for Group 6 and forced MsV to play also. Then had a few cheers. More games like the mirror game . Oooh, Clara sexy sio. Hahah! She was freaking hilarious. Too bad that I didn't took a video of it. ): MsT and MsV were forced to do it also. SZ and NA represented Group 6! More cheers. Then the campfire songs. ...

Finally, hospital attachment is over. I'm gonna miss the cute and caring aunties. I just fed an auntie before my shift ended. Awww, felt sad. Anyway, it's finally over now. No more going so far in the afternoon. Tomorrow going to Pahang(again)! Haven't pack yet. :P I'm sleepy already. Must wake up to pack! :D Will be back soon. To a busy week ahead. (:

3rd day of working. It has been very tiring but fun too! Especially when we get to observe cool stuff that we used to learn. This is the real thing! Going "Ohhhhh" and "Oooooooh" at every minute of watching how the nurses do it. 2 more days. What will I write in my booklet tomorrow? O.o

Going to the hospital soon. Trying to control my cough. Trying to stay awake. I'm so tired. Okay, bye.

I was bored so I went to facebook. I was sad so I went to you. I wanted to find happiness so I went to youtube. The question is, will it work? Blaaa. I was bored so I went there. Then it got me sad. Stupid choice again and again. ): No. Shall laugh! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH! Anyway, going to the positive side. Open house was tiring! Yet, I had fun, especially coming to the end of it. Polyshrink(?) I'm so going to find you. Then after slacking for awhile, went to Lot 1 with Jannah. Hahah, she recommended me so many movies to watch! Next, went back to school for K Productions Drama. Hilarious! Matt was so cute in the first part. Then I knew why Sham agreed to play that role. Hahahah, the Sham I know. Dell was so cute! "I want 3 kids! I want a boy, confirm cute macam bapak dier!" LOL! Farah's mother role. Hahah, she do that all the time. Naomi and Richard. Hahah. Ridz's "mati dalam iman" and "Babyyyyy!" SUPER FUNNY! Okay. Tomorrow is my last madra...

Picnic? I'm not sure about that. Though, it may work? Yet, it's the guys. Well, picnic and all this are kind of girls stuff. Guys are looking for more action, opportunity to show off their talents. I'm so going crazy in one night. I don't know what to do. Why can't guys do the planning? Well, girls always follow whatever guys plan. Guys complain when girls plan it stupid or lame. 2 more weeks to settle this. No Jannah, why did you leave me againnnnn? Hahah. I'm not excited for Pahang already. Hahah, okay, I'm lying. Shit lah. Can go study now, don't want to study now. Yay, drama tomorrow. Bebual random. :D

YAY! I'm loving this image so much! HOHOHOHO! No, Christmas is not here yet. I'm just very happy. Happy post! Do comment! :D

Hey blog. I wish I could just tell the world what I'm really bothered with right now. Yet, I'm such a coward to just run and let people know. I'm such a fake. I can't stand that about me. Well, I think I am. I'm losing my senses. I don't know anything anymore. I should go to a library and borrow a romance teenage novel tomorrow. Go drown myself with sadness. Make myself more depress. At least, I can think that I'm not the only one depressed. Cos the characters in the books feel depressed too. Well, every book needs a climax don't they. I'm sure they do. I don't know where to begin to make a website. I've forgotten how I started with it. No passion, no inspiration. I'm doomed. Thanks O's. Oh well, parents who wants to make their children nursery compulsory for all.. Just give your child some life first. You can save up the money for their upcoming education years. It's going to be a crazy ride, especially for their time. Everything...

I wanted to take up the job because I know I had the passion for it. It took me 1 whole month to finish a draft which others were still not approved. I looked at it again and I felt disappointment. It was ugly, not what he ever wanted. Then O Level came by when my marks dropped like a bomb from the sky. I couldn't be on the computer and just have to work with it. I couldn't touch it for a full 3 months or so. And now that I could touch it again, my passion is gone. Great. I lose everything I have.

Life sucks now. My nose, my throat, me. All sucks. I want that baby seal from my dream. I want to talk to somebody now. I want to go out and just walk around. I want to go and create new blogskins. I want to design a tshirt. I want to write a poem. I'm lying. The truth is, I just want you.

Back from prom. Thank you Amirah's parents for the ride! What a wonderful 4 years in Kranji. It kind of ended(hopefully, not coming back for another year of lesson) in Kranji for us. I guess, best class of the year, not in terms of being so united and all in one, but being such a fun and making the most impact on the teachers, would be 4D`10? I don't know. Though, I always never liked how the people in the class would do their own work in terms of class stuff, like being in-charge and boss people around, have their own groups and dislikes, whenever we agree on something, there's just some spark that made us totally all for one. How we love 5C mentors so much that we always bully them in class, how we love the class' prodigy so much that we will always be so supportive of him when he gets called up, how we will just end up looking like the most united class ever. Heyhey, this is just a way to show my appreaciation for my class I graduated from. I mean to me, 2C08 was the...

Me: Mak, kejut kakak! Mum: Kaulah kejut, dah dekat.. Me: Mak kejut boleh bangun. Adik kejut *sister walked out of room like a zombie* Me: Oh mak terkejut! The best thing ever, getting shocked early in the morning. Anyway, having prom in the evening. Can't wait! Hopefully, I will take a lot of photos. Pleasepleaseplease.

Hello! Just came back from Johor with Bro and family. Had been coughing and sniffing non-stop. I'm afraid if Aniyah will get sick because of me! She was already coughing in the car just now. Monday, monday, who can I go to prom with? Well, I can go alone but feels kind of weird if I go alone. Haizz, loner. I'm missing so many people right now. That makes me moe. [Please don't tell me what I think it is.] We are like so far apart right now. I don't even know her anymore. Well, I do but it kind of scares me. Lalalalala. Okay, I have exam tomorrow. Have yet to study. Diediedie. Want to sleep first. Nights!

Hi. I extracted my fang yesterday. No longer a vampy. Though I'll still be a vampy at heart. Lol. It's wasn't as painful as I thought it would be. The extraction, that is. I never thought the aftermath will keep me up all night. I feel like pulling my teeth out. Those in pain now. Grieving of the loss of their buddy, Fang. *Looks at how long it is* Yeah, I brought it home. Don't know how long I'll keep it here. Anyways, watching HPATHBP. I seriously have no idea what the Half-Blood Prince got to do anything with the story. Okay, so Snape is the Half-Blood Prince. Didn't got to that part yet when I last blogged. Hehehs. Watching Deathly Hallows Part 1 later with SJS♥. Later, gonna sleep. Or I'll sleep in the theater tomorrow. Hahah. Something don't feel right. Or is it just excitement? (:

Yay, 14 November and I became auntie to another kid in the world! Presenting, NUR QAISARAH ANIYAH AQILAH! Okay, don't forget the ever cute sister too. Nur Qaisarah Aniyah! Today extracting my tooth! Yay! Okay bye.

Suddenly remember how fun chatting used to be. HAHAH! Loving it. Chatting with toyol and Rina now. Awesome!

A lot about life has changed now. I used to remember a lot of stuff, get more creative to design stuff, be more enthusiastic to make something new, something I knew people could appreciate. Now, I'm just like one sad lifeless soul, getting moody from time to time,bored so easily with what I do, no motivation or excitement to do what I was passionate in before. You can thank the 10 years of education for that. They just reap me off my mood, my belief, my passion, my everything. I get more and more forgetful these days, often mad at myself for not getting something right, mad with the world cause I can't get what I want, blaming everything on the ever-aching stomach. I just want to put a stop to this and get back the old me. The me I used to know in 2008, being happy for people, only expressing my feelings with you, then tries to be fine again. The me I used to know, knows how to laugh at the lamest joke comedians made. The me I used to know love to do web-designing, write my hea...

WOOHOOOOOOO! Finally, free, finish, end! Can't believe it, it's over already.. For now, till the results. Just be positive and not think about that until January... Now, what do I want to do? PLAY! MEET FRIENDS! KARAOKE! GO DENTIST! CELEBRATE! YAY! Okay, that's all. Awaiting for the dates. For now, still have to stick my nose into books for awhile. Some exams aren't over yet. ):

11.11 Tell me when did I start believing in that. In fact, I don't. I just like to catch it whenever I can. It's so darn fun! I had a weird talk with my bear yesterday... (Oh yes, it's late at 2.30am. My only friend who was awake was bear :D) About everything that happened in my life eversince I got to know that kids have to go to school. The memories of being a teacher's pet, making new friends, knowing your enemies, figured out how the person you think as your 'enemy' turns out to be a great friend after all.. And the weird thing is, it came as a cycle, twice! The things you know and the things you knew. What crap am I talking here. It sounded much better when I was talking to bear yesterday. Now, there are so many blanks and pieces of words of "wisdom" missing. Okay, I just wanted to catch 11.11, since it's the 11.11. I wanted to post it somewhere when I catch it. Facebook is so publicized. Truly, bloggie, you just let me fill you in best! (:

My stomach condition is getting from bad to worse. I have no appetite to finish my food, keep visiting the toilet plenty of times, just resting in bed like I'm not able to do anything at all! This is so not me. Hope I won't fall sick and feel terribly cold tomorrow. Or else, I'm gonna screw malay like I did with ss. This is bad, very bad.

In the morning, stomach was aching so bad. I didn"t know why. Then went to madrasah, felt lethargic. As I reached home, rested. Then, fever): As high as 39.5 degrees celcius. Aniyah came but was too sick to play with her. Now, my temperature is 38.3 degreed celcius. My body feel so weak. I need to study Social Studies dude! Ahh, bye.

I'm supposed to be studying for SS. Again, I'm still not. Anyway, yesterday night had a great time with Rani till 2am. Wonder if she sleeps again after that. Hahah. Mum is colouring her hair. Gonna be brownish or something. My sister gonna try too, I still can't. I won't anyway. I'm just so bored. I'm trying to think of something fun to do right now. Haa, nothing rings the bell. Or something. My brothers are evil. I wanted to follow my dad to look at cars. They just won't let me.. )): Okay, bye.

Why do I always get frustrated with such great dreams? Because, it won't happen. Just too good to be true. Anyway, should be studying for SS. But I'm so freaking in no mood to study. I need to get out of this house, go to a library or something. I just feel too sleepy at home. ): Help me. It's too boring to study at home!

Ahhh, so long since I last blogged. 1 week of papers down. Still have 2 more weeks to go! The first week was quite awesome. I hope 10 and below, please. Supposed to chiong Physics and Geography today. Sucks. Hahah. It's alright. Just two more weeks and see everyone scream and shout for joy. I can't wait. Freedom baby. Gonna meet my babies and friends again! (:

I'm not well.

LAST DAY OF OFFICIAL LESSONS IN KRANJI! Had Physics mock first. Blearghs. Then our last lesson with Mr Teo. It was so sad. I felt like crying when he was like "It's the last day of school" Then Mr Tan came in to brief us on our chopstick aims. He kept saying how great Mr Teo had done that our msg aim was low. And I couldn't agree more. Can't believe how in one short year, we all improved as a class. For Maths only.(: Then had English. Reminisce the times we had. Hahah. After that, the sec 4s gathered back with their classes. Took photos and 4D guys went crazy. Raping Llama, photos with Charlie, teasing Shaufy... LOL! So jealous of how the boys bonded so well. Next, had lesson with Ms Nat. Best! Hahah, macam friend to friend. Dragged our consultation time till half-an-hour. Hahah, Atq and her yellow notebook. Lastly, class with Cikgu. Cikgu's "heroes" ponteng class! Lol. Everyone talked crap, especially Farah. Then photos! OMG. Can't believe my fo...

Why K why? Why do you want my mum to come to school again? Can't you just give the talk and don't involve her. I don't want to her to know what I'm getting. I want to prove it to her that my results will change. Just don't meet her, please? Teachers look at me and tell me to persevere. Tell me to work harder. I have improved but I need to improve so much more. I'm thankful that they didn't gave up on me. Yet, sometimes, I just don't want them to approach me. I feel so pathetic. After all this while, I still haven't put in my best. Still haven't prove to them that I could do it. 25 for prelim 2. Even with all the bonus marks, I can't get into a JC. Sucks like shit. Less than 20 days left. Is there still time?

Have to stop. Stop all this nonsense. 22 more days. 3 more weeks. You only have those times left to make it right. To get a great score and not to put yourself down. If things are shitty now, just remember, 6 weeks countdown to the end of shit. Then, freedom emerges again. You can let your hair down again. Okay, alright. Should go and focus(hopefully), haaaaa!

SS sucks! I only managed to pass the paper barely. I'm 3 marks away from passing combined humans. Shitty mood. Blablabla. When you're mad, eat chocolate and ice cream. Wooo!

I shall make it a post a day, whenever I could get online. Countdown: 27 more days. I realised that I really need to chiong for Sciences and Combined Humanities. Basically, it means that I need to chiong for all subjects! Lol. Shit. Why do I have this feeling that just bugs me. Darn. Must persevere. Who knows, my name could just be called during the result day. (: Hahah! Okay, crap. Bye!

Got back most papers today. Passed all except Combined Humanities. I think. Man oh man. I could almost die checking through the Math papers. So many careless mistakes! Stupid dumb ass. I'm left with Malay and SS paper. I hope I pass SS. (: Ahh, I'm so dead. Must stop all these nonsense. Ah, Firdaus Juma'at! Why are you one year younger? Hahah. Okay, lol. I should stop this. I can't post this on facebook ay. Hahaha! Btw, yesterday, while I was taking the train, Saw this group of half-ers going for raya. Irks. I think it's them, who I read about before in the papers. It's not that I can't accept them but I just believed that they could have chosen a different path. It's quite sad actually. Such handsome faces and turns out that they are not that straight. ): Whatever lah. O's is 27 days away! Raaaaandom.

I'm feeling so null right now. No idea why. My body feels tired but I just can close my eyes to sleep. I'm feeling dead bored and it's best that I do some mind map. Yet, I feel so restraint from touching my books. I feel like going out, hanging out. But it's already so late, which shopping mall is still open at this time? I don't know what's wrong with me. I need somebody to chat with. So badly. I miss my primary school friends. I'm hoping for end-of-year outing. Please oh please. I freaking love my malay class. Cause, even when they have their flaws, they are still the best. (:

I should be in school doing the video thing. But, look at the time! I'm too lazy to go and it will end soon anyway. Even though I feel bad..): Sorry, G. Anyway, yesterday HML girls raya was totally awesome! Even though because some people were half-an-hour late (LOL) We still managed and complete all the houses we planned to go! Well, it ended really late but great great! We even went to Ms Ratna's house and met the boys there. Lol. The girls were screaming when they found out the boys came. HAHAH! On the way to H's house, somebody dropped her money along the road. Should have video-ed it. LOL. Can stomp it. Hahahah! The last house was the most hilarious. TIRAMISU! & F kept disturbing A's mom. LOL. Hahah, what a great day. Gonna have another awesome day today! At last, NSNJRR will be united! :D {/edit!} Wooo! Raya ended at my house at 12.20am. Isn't it totally awesome? Hahah. I pity the boys that live so far though. Hahah, a lot of them turned up. The 6 of us fi...

Heyyyy! Alright, don't know why I'm here. Really felt like blogging but then I forgot what to blog about. Ahhh, hungry even though I ate my dinner and supper! ): Anyway, sister is away in Genting! Like unbelievable. Just because she's 21 and having school vacation. Thursday, Thursday. Can't wait! Friday too! Hopefully she remembers to tell me the details. (: Having Physics and Amath later. No school tomorrow(YAY!) Then having Chemistry on Thursday plus class video. Hopefully everything goes smoothly and won't end late. (: Ahh, whose line is really the best show ever. Will never fail to make me smileeeee! :D

I just saw Joel's countdown and wondered why he counted till 56 days when O's is 38 days away. Hmm, countdown to end of it? Hahah, that's cool. You know, when everyone is so worried about how soon it will be (And yes, it is coming very very soon!) You just think about the day of freedom. When your life of hardwork end for awhile. When you let your hair down and just break free. Wait for two months or less then the result is out. Everything is moving so quickly this year. I could still clearly recall last year's raya outing even though it has been like 10 months or something. I could still remember the night 2009 ended and everyone sent sms and wished each other like it just happened w days ago. The sigh of relieve but a tinge of sadness that 2009 left and 2010 arrived. Oh my, 2009. Even when we were breaking apart, we tried to hold on. Till it could not be helped. The times I spent alone during recess because I lost people I loved most. The days I cried in school becaus...

I don't know what to blog about today. Oh yeah, I'm out of ideas for what to buy for people. So better give hints when your birthday is approaching. (: Ahhh, I feel so crappy now. It's like I want to do something I really like but I don't like what I'm doing. You know, that kind of feeling. You want but you don't want. Yeah, moodswing. Ah, everything so shit right now. Should go and find something else to do. Sorry bloggie..):

Taking a long break before getting back to Physics. Suddenly I feel so scared again. What if I fail again this time round? What if I get a score of 30 or even worse, 36 and more. Killing myself here man. Need need to pass Physics. I wanted to meet her today but I changed my mind. I feel so god damn guilty. It's the shitty feeling inside that just burn me bit by bit. That feeling of fear. I hate that feeling.

The first three days of Raya was totally awesome. Especially the first two days. Specifically the first day. Lol. I'm waiting for Thursday to come. Then finally, some kind of end of prelims. Heheh. My gosh, should stop being so complacent. Must go and revise Math now. Shiiiet. Where's my compass? Hahah, totally random. I should really see her tomorrow. Oh yeah, why both jalan raya on 24th? I want to plan for HML jalan raya but Malay class having one too. Seemed that most are going and I want to go too. Can have shift? But mass jalan raya can never end in 8 hours. It will take the whole day to complete one jalan ray or it won't be satisfying. Seriously. I really want to meet my Malay class. At least they come to my house or something. I really want to meet them, omg. Okay, thinkthinkthink!

Cleaning up the house! Well, was cleaning then sister asked me to check the net and here I am. Can't get out, too lazy to clean already. Hahah! Okay, I shal say STOP! to this. Shall watch one video and go! :D Ahh, so many work to do. Still haven't study! ): Prelims lehhh, csnnot fail again. Must score as well I will in Os. Lol. Shucks lah. So many things to do in such a short time! Anyway, buka is almost here! (: Hungry hungry baby. Dah siapkan sms raya belum? Woots!

I think I just had my worst nightmare ever. At first, I dreamt that my arwah nyai wanted to leave us for old folks home Like she packed her bags and all in a travelling bag. I was fine with it, because I thought I would trick her into staying. Suddenly the story changed and it was actually ayah who wanted to leave us. He said he was going to work and was contemplating whether he should come home first. Then, in my dream. I held onto his bag and cried. Oh no, a real nightmare indeed. Anyway. I think I got my heart beating again. LOL. Roshon Fegan! My gosh, his dimples are so damn cute. Irrisistible. I can watch It's On music video over and over again. Haaaaaaaa.

Cause if one day you wake up and find that you're missing me, and your heart starts to wonder where on this earth I could be. Thinking maybe you'll come back here to the place that we meet, and you see me waiting for you on the corner of the street. And I'm not moving. I used to love these words. I still do. Saying the lines slowly cause it's more meaningful. Ahh, old times. Back to study mood. Holiday is over for me. Time for notes, studies, tys, prelims. All the best for N's! Jiayou! Jiayou! :D

Hi. I miss my NC1 kiddos. I kind of think somebody keeps trying to break us apart. First, took away Azimah. Now, Tian En is gone. Hoh Shi Ying, the only that's left. Come girl, gonna beat them both and get those trophies! NC1 gonna be the best. Show them how strong we NC1 is! No matter what happens, we will always be the best. We are not called NC 1 for no reason. (: I wish I could have back Azimah and Tian En in NC1. Just like NC1'09. Well, it's okay. Still will see NA'11. Gonna defeat them again. Hehes. Okay, interrogation by aunt cause mummy's away. Hahah. *faints*

I'm so tired that I'm currently blogging while lying down. Seriously, I'm beat. One more week left till raya. Then it's the prelims. 3 weeks after that, O level starts. Jiayou people who are sitting for N's. All the best! May you get great results and say hello to being the senior of the seniors in the school. :D Physics, Math, Chem. Everybody can't wait till O's is over and done with. Hahah, set up a campfire! :)

The more I'm trying to stop, the more obsessed I get. HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH! My juniors miss me too much! :D Aiyayayayai! Gifts, gifts! I haven't do my gifts! ): Yay, 4 more pages. Then I will finally be done! Hopefully.

Please click on response and say hi people. My blog feels like it's dying. ): Teachers' day celebration was quite plain today. It was seriously not fun. Should have gone back and meet the primary school malay cliques. But oh well, end of year still awaits. :D What's funny now? I'm missing my NC1 babies so much. I want to go out with them again. ):

Yesterday was the POP. What a sad day. Our parade went alright. Despite the very short time we had, we still managed to pull through it. Hahah! The throw beret was a disaster though. LOL! Games were great. Was so enthusiastic with Group 5! Oh yes, the sec 2s forgot to put me in the groups! ): Lol. Jeremy and TianEn gave me a big splash. Hahah, love me too much. (: Presentation was emotional. Cried during TianEn's speech. I felt so proud of her. New CSM. (: Then, the new teams. After that, finished homework. Home. Had family picnic at airport. Sent Mak and bro off. ): What a not-so-wonderful-but-good day.

I always held back. The evil thoughts are all in my mind, waiting to be exposed. I know, these are all tests from Allah. Yet, at times, I just couldn't take it anymore. The more I try to keep it in, the more I feel like breaking. Now she's going away and I have to be with her. What's the difference? Even when we fight in front of her, she don't try to resolve it. Leave me to fall, in defeat. Both of them, ignore the scene. Make me feel invisible, foolish of even trying. I always wonder why they never try to ask when they see me breaking down. They don't even put in an effort to show that they care. Bulls. I gotta get myself cheered up again now.

I'm bored. Trying to clear up my homework now. Yeah, 2am in the morning. So what? *Pink's song plays* Why do we have to do summary. It's a waste of time! Seriously, people write good facts and the you have to go cut it short. Just being disrespectful. :P Physics, I love you lah. But you're wrecking my brain hard. Evil. Talking crap in the morning. Hahah. Eh hello. Bull. Okay, bye.

Firstly, what's with the Hari Raya show today? It's just the tenth day of Ramadhan. Anyway, Hady Mirza looks good and reminds me of somebody. (: Secondly, today's breakfast was AWESOMEEEE! Basyirah was just so hilarious and add up with the presence of the HML gang. Love love love it! :D Despite being full, we all had a great laugh. Such a de-stress moment after all the weeks of full pressure. Hopefully next week will be even better. [: By the way, I had my English oral yesterday. It was not as tense as I thought it would be. With Qinhe and Shaufy in my group, things was just so funny. Full of craps, LOL. *right leg, left leg* Technology and books. :) I wanted to type about something. Somehow, I already forgot about it. ): Hahah, whatever lah. This week had been great. Okay, not quite. But still, fun times a trillion. :D Plus, what's with this soccer guy craze? Hahah! I whole day people talked about him. He must be having all the weird signs like crazyy.

Hello bestfriend! Life has been fine. Full of ups and downs. Disappointment every single day. It will never end as long as O level is around the corner. *lightning strikes* Nice weather but a little too dangerous. It had been a warm day before this. Weather can change so quickly! Okay. Gonna go now to rest and wake up later to face TYS. ):

I'm just posting because I'm feeling bored. Having tuition later plus a meeting. I don't feel like leaving house today. ): Life has been normal. Just too tiring at times. You have this and that to do. Mock test and more mock test. Welcome to the "another milestone after 10 years of education" life. I miss my primary school. Hopefully the end of year outing works out just fine. (: Hungryy. I'm gonna eat. Hahah. :D

Breeks. Aniyah is back. She slept over. I had fun with cousins. I love my life!

Today marks the 2 month since that day. It's not a swell day today. Starting off with, "2 months of what?" 2 months ever since that day. The day I broke down into tears and coudn't stop crying. It was my last chance. That's why I couldn't let the thought go. The possibility of it. People say, it just wasn't meant to be. I try to keep that in mind but I couldn't. I tried so hard but in the end, it was all useless. That was my second chance that I didn't get to grasp. My chances are gone. . The parade today was fine. Something in me tingled as I watched my juniors marched before me. How I can't be there for them always anymore. How they marched in so nicely, making me feel proud of them. How, my moment of being there are gone. Over. It's time to let go of everything. Everything that just wasn't meant to be. So to the juniors, appreciate what is given to you now. Much as it takes up all the time you have, you shouldn't think that it...

Monday blues came today. Seriously. I was more sleepy in every lesson. Often shutting the eyes slowly so that I won't get caught. What's wrong with today? My fasting was almost unbearable today. Unlike any other days... I bet it's because my brain used too much energy. =z= Oh yeah, somebody's bf threw paperball at cow which accidentally got caught at my neck area spot on. Wow. Hahah, my ear was in minimal pain. "I don't play these childish games," said cow. LOL. Okay, funny moments. Tomorrow is my Physics spa 3 along with section 2 %eography test. T.T I still haven't hand in math. Tired, tired. Shall nap now. Go away will you and stop thinking you can flirt with anybody. No, you are not popular. Don't think you can be like them. Bye :D

My stomach hurts a lot when I sneeze. Darn napfa test.. My whole body hurts too much. I think it's due to lack of sleep too. :O I am currently so in love with phone. Especially in love with the screen. I think i've made the right choice for screen. i LOVE DAISO TOO! And I get jealous everytime I look at my juniors. I still can't get over the lack of opportunities for us. I think I want to be a footdrill instructor. Yet, I don't want to go for OTC. I don't want to suffer and get all scared for SJ anymore. I've had enough for 4 years already. Teehees. Oh well. Boy oh boy. I hate this. Well, now it's not about KSJ. It's about ending O's with a smile. :D

I'm not done with Chemistry. Neither am I done with Physics. I still have Geography to do. I still have Geography to study for. Ahhhh. Not again. Lol. And I'm still here? What the heck am I doing, seriously?

Hello blogger! I have amazing news! Lol I'm so blessed and appreciate that very much right now. So, now, gonna work hard till O's over and done with. Gonna get my distinctions baby! (:

Shittttttt! I;m so scared for later's PTM! Well, I've prepared my sorry speech. And "my fault" speech. But adults won't understand! Dangggggg it! I'm gonna die. So I better enjoy myself now. Bye bye~

Yesterday was fun! Okay, aside with the crappy Michael insident. Totally, " What the ..........?! " After looking for my awesome juniors all over the school, we finally met at Lot 1. Kinda weird huh? :S So next, we headed for BPP. SWENSENS! Off to a nice start. Lovely pizza and ice cream. Hate the price though, $25 gone into the stomach. But it's okay. For the love of my babies. :D Then we got into Daiso. Played with the cool stuff selling there. We bought a team pen. So then, the theme was decided! :D They have hats, I have the crown. :D Loves had to leave soon after.. So, today. Normal. I could have gotten my Motorola today. Sadly, Math had to ruin it. Stupid Math. I break up with it already. :P Aww no. I still love you Math. You're the only thing that gives me my As. Sadly, things have been rough lately. It's not going so well with Math. Got too jealous that I spent time with Geog and other subjects. Haizz. Lol. Okay, stop babbling now. I have 3 things due tomo...

There's a point of time in life. When you just don't know what to do? Then you ask, " What do I really want? " For now, there's a lot of things that I want. Somehow, it's contradicting. I want to be smart but I want to slack. I want drop to sub-Science but I want to stay in Pure Science. I want to do notes but I want to have more pens. ( Okay, no link.. ) There's really a lot of things that I want now. Yet, what do I really want? I confuse myself all the time. This and that. After all the evaluation. The pros and cons. The question is still the same. . . . . . . . What do I really want? I want to forget about the "imagination" but I want to keep it as memories. I want to stop this "addiction" but I want to take a peek at it. I want to stay as far away but I want to have a conversation. I want to be free but I want to make me happy.

DESPICABLE ME!!!!!! I still can't get over how cute is the movie! I think Jnh still can't get over that we weren't watching 3D. Lol. Watched it with SJS♥ yesterday after Adam Khoo. The "1 hour of motivation", as Basyirah said it, was poop. Irritating. Pay you for you to teach us new stuff. Not to scold us and talk about how important your slide is. Blablabla. Then went to Lot 1. Bought tickets and popcorn. Hahah, went in. The movie haven't even started and we already ate like 1/4 of the popcorn. . . . . . . . . ADORABLE! The movie is very adorable! Ahhhh. I love the last part, when the minions asked for a kiss. Sadly, it's not uploaded in Youtube. Photos! Okay. I want to get new lenses. New phone. Hopefully. My brother,... Alright, bye! :D

Today is bad. Everything was bad. I'm so oppressed, depressed, whatever.. Happy, happy, happy!

First things first, I found a brand new love. :D Yet, I'm still unsure. I mean, none of my family members own those brand. They only have Nokia and Samsung. Plus 1 Motorola too. Haizz, so complicated. Alright, next up is the English new band. I'm not in Ms Lee's class anymore. You know what they always say, appreciate what you have before it's gone. I kind of miss her. The humour in class. Oh, I was just getting started to have an optimistic mindset. And I'm not in her class anymore. ): Now, results? Spain won and it's heartbreaking for Holland. The match was really long. Nil-nil, only scored at the last 5 minutes or something. Lol. ( Macam Jnh, hahah! Macam paham jer.. ) I failed Combined Humanities. It's alright, surprising enough, I only 4 marks away to passing for Geography. SS on the other hand, pfffffft! A Math is disappointing. Doing the corrections is even worse. I realised I could have done a lot better if only I wasn't careless. You know that f...

I wanted to watch WLIIA? but caught up with Happy Tree Friends instead. How sadist can the cartoonist be? I don't know how people find it funny. Lol, weird. Okay bye. Will edit update later or something. :D ]edit;[ RETAKE CLASS PHOTO! It will never look perfect. ): I bet 4/5 people in the world will catch the World Cup today. I'm rooting for Germany. Then go against Netherlands and win the World Cup 2010. I really hope Germany wins. (Even though I don't watch soccer, lol.) & I've prepared for the match too. Hahah, things that will keep us awake in case it gets as boring as other matches.. (:

I found her old blog. Read the old posts. She used to have my name in almost every post. I used to have hers too. Guess time changed. Emo mood. Or what we used to say, mo-e. Hehs I wonder how it all started. Well, I knew very well how it started. How it ended. If I had just one more day I would tell you how much that I've missed you Since you've been away Oh, it's dangerous It's so out of line To try and turn back time I'm sorry for blaming you For everything I just couldn't do And I've hurt myself By hurting you The stupidest thing I would have done is to let this come an end. Letting a presence ruin our whole friendship. In good terms now, but it's awkward to bring it back to great. It's just is.

Watched ECLIPSE today! Met up with cousins. I was the late one. So went up to the movie theater and they weren't there. Then rushed down to Mac and looked around. Weren't there either. Lol. And guess what? They were outside. =.= Hahah! Buat penat aku je... Then waited at Mac till the movie's about to start. Movie started... Can't believe Eclipse is quite funny. Especially the Edward vs Jacob part. &, need I say more about Jacob Black? :D & the Riley cast ((: After the movie, had to rush to meet Zikri and Jelina . Studied :D Not much, but still studied :D Then went home. Watched 2 episodes of Spongebob. LOL. Okay. Tomorrow is the last paper! :D Then, back to lessons! D:

I was so WRONG! Camp was fun after all! Even though when I came, we just ate, prayed and slept. Hahah. It's the feeling, made me feel happy. Release from everything. :D Then went to Jamiyah's Darul Ma'wa Charity. Saw Mum's friend as the MC. He was hilarious! =D Watched Kebayarobik, Dikir Barat, Sanskrit(?), Adha and Aliff Aziz. (: Fun fun. Then I slept. :S Tomorrow going to watch Eclipse! Then maybe studying. Hope it happens! I can't wait :D I can't sleep~~ Blablabla. I shall go watch my favourite show ever. :D

I don't want to go for that camp! This is so awkward. Fine fine fine. ):

3am now. I'm so tired. I want to sleep but I want to play computer. No school tomorrow, no training! :D Wow, this ain't fair. 3 against 1. Oh, whatever. My eyes rule at rolling 270°! :D

It's 3pm and the rain is still as heavy as ever. Will there be a Cultural Fiesta tonight? Thinking about it, I'm feeling lazy to go. But nonetheless, it's the last year. Would lose out if I'm skipping it. & hey, I'm so loving this blogskin. Won't be another month till I find it be a bore and plain grey. Then I find a new love of blogskin. (: Ahh, another thing, what to wear? That orange shirt? I don't want to. ):

I'm left with MCQs! My prelim 1B is unofficially over and done with. Today, worst paper of the Prelims. I just screwed with Prelim 1. It's alright, still have Prelim 2 and then the Os! Gotta start working on Chemistry and Geography! YAY! I don't have school today. Although, there's Cultural Fiesta Night. Can't wait, hope I won't feel a waste. Well, Today just seemed to have the great movies I want to watch. What a nice day date, July 2. :D I'm so looking forward to NC1 and a movie outing. Better make it happen girls! Sterling Knight! :)